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How to “do” a yoga ashram in India

Mariellen — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 13:38:11 +0000

Yoga Ashram India series on TravelWireAsia

I write a regular ‘column’ for the TravelWireAsia website about India, yoga and travel in Asia (my favourite continent for travel!). Recently, I published a three-part series on How to “do” a yoga ashram in India. Here’s a synopsis of each post — to read the full article click on the link provided.

Part 1: How to find an ashram in India

HAVE you considered going to an ashram in India? This is a 3-part series on where to go, what you need to know and what to expect.

Holy men have been congregating in ashrams in India to meditate and chant since the dawn of time. But they’ve only become popular as a traveller’s destination since The Beatles went to the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi’s ashram in Rishikesh in the late 1960s and yoga became a worldwide phenomenon.

The best way to find an ashram is to ask people you know, especially your yoga teacher. Some of the questions you should ask include: Does the ashram or school take foreign students; do they have a program for foreigners? Is instruction in English? Where, exactly, is the ashram or school; is it accessible and in a place that has access to trains, the Internet, etc. Click here to read the full article How to find an ashram.

Part 2: What to pack and how to get ready for your ashram adventure

Once you’ve decided to stay at an ashram in India, and you know where you’re going, it’s time to start getting ready. Find out everything you can about the ashram – including the amenities, daily routine, accommodations and what you need to bring. Talk to people who’ve been there to find out what it’s really like.

Ashrams are not hotels, they do not come equipped with mod cons and supplies. They tend to be very simple, and you have to bring almost everything you need with you – but remind yourself that you are not going to indulge in luxury. Bring what you need, but bring the bare minimum, such as: all the toiletries you need, including soap, shampoo and medications, a flashlight, a towel, a shawl or sweater (it can be chilly at night in winter and in the mountains), loose cotton clothes, preferably Indian-style (Lululemon spandex just doesn’t cut it), flipflops and/or sandals, etc. Click here to read the full article What to pack and how to get ready for your ashram adventure in India.

Yoga capital of the world: RIshikesh, India

Part 3: What to expect at an ashram and the daily routine

Preparations can only take you so far when you’re travelling or experiencing something new — you have to expect the unexpected. And this is doubly, triply true of travel in India! It’s also especially true of doing something that is off-the-radar for most people from the west, where spirituality, and even just the concept of looking within, is nowadays considered a radical notion.

Looking within is exactly what you do at an ashram, and if you’re new to it, you may not know where to start — or where to look. That’s what the daily routine is for. The daily routine grounds you in the life of the ashram and provides you with a map. The “destination” is your unique experience and epiphanies. When in doubt, follow the routine and have faith that something will happen! And if that something turns out to be a catharsis, the routine will support you as you go through it.

I always go through a few very uncomfortable days of unwinding when I first get to the ashram. I usually feel like I have the flu, but I know it’s the symptoms of a natural detoxification. Click here to read the full article What to expect at an ashram and the daily routine.

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Highlights of the Toronto Yoga Show

Mariellen — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:14:54 +0000

At the Toronto Yoga Show

Sitar players and yoga gurus

Photo essay from the Toronto Yoga Show floor

I am not that keen on yoga shows and conferences and cannot afford the big-ticket class fees. But I did pay a Saturday visit to the Toronto Yoga Show floor and was drawn to speak with a number of people who seemed sincere and knowledgeable (in spite of the overtly commercial atmosphere). I chatted with some people from Sivananda Yoga. I have been to several of their worldwide yoga ashrams and centres — such as the beautiful Sivananda Ashram Yoga Camp north of Montreal, in the Laurentian Mountains — and I often recommend them on Breathedreamgo and in the articles I write. Also enjoyed chatting with Kevin “The Wolf” Alexander, Wearer of Many Hats, from the Northern Edge Algonquin retreat centre. I have wanted to go to this very special retreat on the edge of Algonquin Park for more years than I care to remember. Somehow, after chatting with Kevin, I think this summer will finally be the one. Among other special events, they often host yoga retreats.

The highlight, for me, was unexpectedly coming across sitar teacher Lata Swarn modestly sitting on the floor and playing in a booth selling yoga clothes. I kneeled down and listened, falling into a trance induced by the classical Indian music. Not only can she play like a charm, but she’s a lovely person too — and I discovered that she lives in the same west-end Toronto building as my brother. Another highlight was meeting yoga “legend” Dharma Mittra.

Sitar teacher Lata Swarn at Yoga Conference Toronto

My second favourite moment was coming across my friend Ram Vakkalanka chatting with yoga “legend” Dharma Mittra. In this photo, below, Dharma is holding one of Ram’s CDs — Ram is also a talented sitar player, as well as Sanskrit teacher and yoga philosophy teacher. I notice that Ram is leading a workshop on Inner healing through sacred sounds at Sivananda in Quebec this summer. I think I’ll be going to this!

Yoga teacher Dharma Mittra and sita player Ram Vakkalanka

I did not take part in the free, open classes … but did enjoy taking advantage of some good photo opps.

Plow pose in the Garden at the Yoga Conference Toronto

At the Toronto Yoga Show

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The 30-day Yoga Challenge wrap-up: Change is good

Mariellen — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 14:25:32 +0000

30 days of yoga classes in Toronto

Part 4 of a 4-part series

I finished my 30-day Yoga Challenge at Lila Yoga Studio, Toronto, on Monday, March 19 — finished as I started, with a class by owner and yoga teacher Shelly Rowen. I am proud to say that I never missed a day. There were days I didn’t want to go — the sun was shining or I was tired or I just didn’t want to face myself — but I went, and I did the yoga class with those thoughts and feelings. Yoga is not about being a specific way; it is not about being perfect, or looking like the cover of a magazine, or feeling calm and compassionate at all times. At the ashram I go to in India, there’s a sign that says, “All life is yoga.” And that’s what I experienced during my 30-day Yoga Challenge.

For part 1, read: My 30-day Yoga Challenge
For part 2, read: Travelling within
For part 3, read: Journey of acceptance

To read about my last 10 days, and what I learned and gained from the experience…

Day 21-23

I was feeling particularly stiff for my Day 21 Saturday morning Hatha class with Shelly, and she had us doing twists and seated forward bends early on in the class. I’m a died-in-the-wool Vinyasa yoga student, I guess, so I like to warm up before getting stretchy with Surya Namaskar (sun salutations). I know it’s a different philosophy, and also probably depends on your body, constitution, etc., but I like to warm up my muscles, especially in the morning. Instead of judging the class and being miserable, though, I came up with a mantra to get me through: “Don’t be right, be light.” It worked! I said it in my mind, and relaxed a lot. Day 22 was a close call. The weather was beautiful and I was happily at home when I noticed it was 4:01 p.m. — class started at 4 p.m. I grabbed my hairband and literally ran out the door — but thank goodness I live so close. I made it on time, believe it or not, to Sahara’s Flow Yoga Class — a class I hate to miss. Flow Yoga just rings all tension and crumminess of just about every kind out of me, and I always sleep like a baby on those nights. Monday night Hatha Restorative with Shelly is another class I look forward to. The Day 23 class was everything a restorative should be. I loved the long, intense leg stretching and snuggling under the blanket. Happy day.

Lila Yoga Studio, Toronto. Photo by Helen Lee.

Day 24-26

How do I love Flow Yoga, let me count the ways! Day 24 was perhaps my best class of the entire month. Janice did a great job with the flow, she’s a truly lovely teacher, and I even liked the modern music she played (seemed like she raided my collection!). But best of all, I moved, I flowed, I didn’t feel restricted. Great class. On Day 25 I enjoyed the class that Shelly “built” on a very intelligent series of postures that led deeper into the movements, into the body. When getting snuggled up for Savasana, I suddenly realized it was like nap time in kindergarten, which made me giggle. Very satisfying class. But of course every day is different and on Day 26 I didn’t want to go to yoga AT ALL. I felt fragile and vulnerable and didn’t want to do any standing poses, so I stayed on the floor for most of the class. Was thinking about whether rigid discipline is worth it…

Lila Yoga Studio, Toronto. Photo by Helen Lee.

Day 27-30

In the home stretch! Wasn’t going to go to class on Day 27, but I ran into Shelly in the Roncesvalles neighbourhood, and went with her to Jill’s restorative class — and was I ever glad I went! It was a very creative class, and all the postures stretched and relaxed the spine and hips. Yummy. And then I had a subtle but profound release in my diaphragm/stomach area — and I breathed in and really felt my stomach for the first time in years. It has been held by a knot of tension, apparently. Day 28 was Shelly’s classic Saturday morning Hatha class — and I think it was my favourite Shelly class ever as we did many rounds of slow-paced, delicious sun salutations, which really got everything moving. Day 29 was one of my favourite never-miss-classes, Sunday Flow with Sahara. I notice a nice community building up around this class. It was a great class and I was able to notice the progress I’ve made in a month: I moved into the flow immediately, without even noticing. Finally, Day 30, Restorative Hatha with Shelly. I was just so thrilled to have made it without missing a class to Day 30 that I don’t even remember the class! I remember the deep savasana, and holding up my arms in victory at the end, and then feeling mixed emotions as I left the studio … a sense of achievement, but also sadness that my daily routine was ending…

Lila Yoga Studio, Toronto. Photo by Helen Lee.

Summary and benefits

I’ve been thinking about the benefits I received from doing the Yoga Challenge and I think there are essentially three:

The most profound is that by moving every day in a yoga class, I really stirred up my energies, and the spillover effect was remarkable. Many things started to change in my life, and move in a very positive direction — too numerous to mention them all here, but I will point out that I announced a change in direction for this blog within the last month, which is going to materially affect my life!
The physical benefits are also profound. I was feeling very stiff, sore and stuck; unable to get moving; gaining weight; feeling sluggish. Yuck. The regular yoga got me moving — and how. It didn’t cure all of my aches and pains — my left hip is still funky — but it made me feel a WHOLE LOT BETTER, and much more positive about life in general.
It was a wonderful social experience. I loved being part of a new studio, and experiencing all of the classes, and seeing a lot of the same students week in and week out — right in my neighbourhood. Shelly has created a very special studio with sincerity and integrity, and a light touch. I feel blessed to have Lila Yoga Toronto in my life.

Thanks to everyone who supported me and followed me on this journey, and most of all thanks to Shelly, Helen and the teachers of Lila Yoga: Janice, Sarah, Sahara, Jill, Melissa and Amy. Namaste!

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Day 20 of Yoga class challenge: Journey of acceptance

Mariellen — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 13:01:29 +0000

20 days of yoga classes at Lila Yoga Toronto

Part 3 of a 4 part series.

Day 20 at Lila Yoga

At the start of my 30-day yoga challenge at Lila Yoga, everyday felt like a journey and an achievement. But now, going to yoga class every day feels “normal.” Though it is not always easy to be present and breathe into the various pains and tensions in my body, I am accepting the challenge and the practise of “being with” rather than trying to change anything. Meditation is becoming a bit easier, I am moving more easily … but my yoga pants are still as tight as they were on day 1! (Weight loss is a life goal for me right now, but not really a point of the yoga challenge.)

Day 11 – 13

Day 11 was a very small intimate Flow class with Sahara, and she created a warm and supportive atmosphere — but in a small class like this, there is no where to hide! I felt very clunky, not flow-y at all. Late in the class, she massaged my head, and I felt grief and other sad emotions welling up. Outside, the bleakness of late winter and my own turbulent emotions made me aware of the polarities of two energetic forces within me, the positive and the negative. Day 12 was Hatha with Shelly and I really struggled. It was a stressful time for me personally, and the slow pace of the class made it paradoxically hard for me to settle down. A lot of difficult emotions welled up, and my left hip was causing me real pain when I moved. That night, I slept badly, and was filled with restless energy. On Day 13 I accidentally went to Yoga for Absolute Beginners with Melissa — and in truth, I do feel like an absolute beginner these days. The slow pace was challenging for me — I felt stiff and resistant. But I fell into a deep shavasana. I can see how anyone, no matter how “advanced,” could benefit from a beginner class like this.

Day 15 - Shelly

Day 14 – 16

Friday night restorative with Amy was my Day 14 class, and I was the only one in class. We only did 3-4 poses, but each was a long-held, Yin yoga type of pose. The seated forward bend with lots of support of bolsters and blankets was great — especially when Amy put a blanket over me, and created a fort. It was a deep stretch right into my “trouble spots” and when I was in my shavasana cocoon, again a lot of feelings welled up, triggered by some terrible news reports about a young girl who was murdered. Yoga can lead you to peaks of peace, positivity and letting go, but sometimes to get there you have to go through valleys of darkness. I slept badly and showed up at Shelly’s sunny Saturday morning yoga class in a bad mood for Day 15. I had a lot of trouble breathing, my mind was racing, my joints were stiff. But then Shelly gave me some very specific and astute instructions about relaxing my shoulders and letting “the heart, lungs and shoulder blades” hold up my arms in warrior I pose, and everything changed. I found ease in the pose. Same thing happened with wide leg forward bend; Shelly’s insightful instruction made the pose easier. After that, I relaxed and enjoyed the class. Day 16 I celebrated: over the halfway point! It was a Flow yoga class with Sahara, and I found myself moving more easily (though I could feel the heaviness of my chocolate birthday cake, which I ate for lunch, weighing me down!).

Day 19 - Sarah

Day 17 – 20

I arrived to my Day 17 Vinyasa class with Amy feeling bloated, and got off to a bad start by getting a cramp in my leg and feeling an aversion to the modern jazz music she played. I could not really keep up with the vinyasas — the class was a bit too strenuous for me, though of course at one time it would have been very easy. By the end of the class my mind felt agitated and emotions started to surface. I came in contact with how I really feel about a personal situation, which was difficult but helpful, and it ultimately felt relieving. Another reminder that yoga is powerful. Day 18 was personally a very stressful day and I knew it would be impossible for me to get into the Flow yoga class with Sahara. But of course I went to class nevertheless, and did my practise in a corner, in my own way, while watching the winter sky turn to dusk and feeling very sad. Sahara let me be, which was a real gift.

Day 16 - Sahara

Day 19 I was rushing around, and had to make a lot of preparations for class because I was going out afterwards to a series of meetings and dinner. I loved the Vinyasa Flow class with Sarah, and was sorry I couldn’t really fully relax into it because of my busy-ness. The class was basically a combination of all my favourite things about yoga: flowing sequences, deeply held restorative poses, a caring and knowledgeable teacher who creates a safe environment — I even liked the music, which seemed to come from my own collection and included Joni Mitchell and Nick Drake. Day 20 was my birthday and I felt great! I came to Vinyasa Flow feeling calm, and I kept my centre throughout the class, doing it at my own pace, listening to the rhythm of my own soul. A mantra came to me, “let my light shine,” which sounds like a good way to start a new birth year.

For the first post in this series, read My 30-Day Yoga Challenge. For the second instalment read My 30-day yoga class challenge: travelling within.

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30-day yoga class challenge: travelling within

Mariellen — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 14:05:43 +0000

Discovering the benefits of regular yoga classes

Part 2 of a 4 part series.

Though Breathedreamgo is primarily a travel blog, yoga is way of travelling within, to discover your own uncharted territories. The best journeys are both inner and outer, if you ask me.

On Saturday, February 18, 2012, I started a 30-day yoga challenge — I made a decision to go to a yoga class at Lila Yoga Studio, Toronto, every day for 30 days. I wrote about my reasons for starting, and my interview with studio owner Shelly Rowen in this post, My 30-Day Yoga Challenge.

I have just completed 10 days, haven’t missed a day, and discovered new reasons, and new benefits, for doing this that I hadn’t thought of before I started. Here are the highlights of my first 10 days of a yoga-class-a-day — and what I discovered about the power of yoga, the magic of process and my own inner journeys.

Day 1 – 4: New sensations

The 30-day yoga challenge is a process, and like all processes, has it’s ups and downs. I wrote about Day 1 in My 30-Day Yoga Challenge blog post, and how hard it was to breathe and just be in the moment. For those who are new to my story or Breathedreamgo, day 1 of the yoga challenge was not my first yoga class — far from it. I have studied and practiced yoga for about 20 years, and have attended literally too many yoga classes to count; plus, I have completed yoga teacher training and studied in India over the past six years, staying for weeks at a time in various ashrams.

But you would never know it if you saw me now! Three years of sitting at my desk writing has made me stiff, sore, unfit and overweight (for my taste).

On day 2, I went to Flow Yoga class with Sahara. Flow yoga is probably my favourite style of asana practice. I went to Bibi’s Flow Yoga classes at Yoga Space regularly for about 10 years, and remember well the days when I would get completely lost in the flow, feeling only the energy passing through my body, and not the weight of my body at all. Pure bliss. But I struggled in this class and it was not the teacher’s fault: it was because I felt so restricted by pain, tight muscles and lack of fitness.

Me and namaste

Nevertheless, I fell into a deep sivasana at the end and felt very happy walking home in the February dusk. I felt hungry, like my digestive fire had been stirred, bought some cheese at Mabels’ on the way home, and thought, as I took a bite, “it’s time to be happy.” Joy welled up as I looked out the window.

On day 3 I did my first Vinyasa class in years. My teacher training certificate is in Vinyasa Yoga, and I used to love the strenuous movement of this flowing style. In this class, I really came face-to-face with my muscle weakness, which was distressing. Surya Namaskar felt like “an old boyfriend,” remembered with mixed feelings – fondness for the past and discomfort in the present. My mind in this class was more active than my body, and I really appreciated teacher Sarah’s incredible hands-on adjustments. I walked home thinking, I am going to miss going every day, when it’s over.

Day 4 Yin Yoga class, taught by Sahara (substituting for Jill) was a great follow-up to Vinyasa, though I found it hard to breathe deeply into the lengthy poses. Her instruction to breathe into the abdomen and feel it stretch brought up some new sensations, and I started to realize just how much I need this work. I was distracted throughout the class by the ongoing, three-month-old pain in my left hip.

Day 5 – 7: Trying to flow

During Flow Yoga with Sahara on day 5, I was able to stay in downward dog for more than a couple of seconds and I started to feel a sense of ease — that is, until we did pyramid pose and my uber-tight hamstrings rebelled. My mind was way too busy, I felt decidedly ungraceful and stiffness in my hips and shoulders, plus strange pains in my spine, really distracted me from being in the flow. But I know that Sahara has the gift of being able to channel the flow, so I’m hanging in.

Janice at Lila Yoga

Day 6 was another Flow Yoga class, but with Janice, who also trained as a Vinyasa teacher. I really loved this class, a combination of Flow and Vinyasa, and I loved the Hindu devotional music Janice played. Call me old fashioned, but I like to hear Hindu devotional music, Vedic chanting and other yoga-appropriate music during yoga class. I find it puts me in the right frame of mind — which is what it’s meant to do. This kind of music is sattvic, and creates the right energetic key — unlike the modern jazz music some of the teachers play.

Day 7, I went to Hatha for Core Strength, with Shelly subbing for the regular teacher, Jill, who was away. I was really looking forward to this class as I know I need much more core strength: sitting is the worst for abdominal muscles. This class was hard for me — not because it was a difficult class, but because I was feeling resistance, and wanted to fall asleep or leave halfway through. Shelly created a wonderful supportive atmosphere, and she also didn’t hesitate to point on when I was falling back into bad movement and muscle habits. Change is hard! I feel daunted by trying to get my abdominals working again, and letting my shoulder muscles relax for a change.

Day 8 – 10: Moments of bliss

Day 8 took me back to Saturday morning yoga with Shelly, her key Hatha class. In this class, Shelly seemed to go “back to basics,” and deconstructed all the basic yoga postures and movements, building them slowly, from the ground up. Amazing class, but the deceptively simple poses were surprisingly hard. Shelly seems so gentle, but she is also absolutely rigorous in her devotion to adhering to her yoga principles: fluidly moving the spine, grounding and releasing, finding the ease in the pose. I felt tired and daunted as I discovered more and more bad physical habits.

Entering the sacred space

I was tired for my day 9 Flow Yoga class with Sahara because I slept about 12 hours the night before. There was something about that class with Shelly that released a lot of tension. If I was not committed to this 30-day challenge, I would have skipped yoga on day 9 because I felt too tired — instead, I went to class tired, and made being tired part of the yoga process, which was interesting and satisfying. In fact, the energy in the class was quite low, and Sahara tuned into it and gave us a very low-key class. I felt my body softening, my abdominals engaging a bit more, my energy flowing a bit better. I walked home in the gathering dusk of a chilly February evening feeling a gentle sadness.

Day 10, a Restorative Hatha class with Shelly. Yay! Restorative Yoga, just what I need! In this class, Shelly took us deeply into some twists and leg stretches — everything done on the ground. The class flew by, I couldn’t believe when it was over. I also couldn’t believe that I could twist without excruciating pain in my hip, and that my hamstrings are loosening up. Shelly is a genius and yoga is magical: for the first time, I really fell deeply into the movement moments and felt a sense of ease in my body. Time seemed to stand still. To give yourself time to just be quiet with yourself is a great gift.

At the end of my first 10 days I was finally feeling in the groove of doing yoga regularly again — though I still have a long way to go to achieve my former levels of physical ease. And I was thoroughly impressed with the teachers at Lila Yoga. They all seem to be in tune with what Shelly is trying to achieve — a simple, down-to-earth and natural approach to yoga. But an approach that is completely open to the spirit of transformation. Om.

Read part 1: My 30-day yoga challenge

Read part 3: Day 20 of yoga class challenge: journey of acceptance

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The 5 spiritual ideas of social media

Mariellen — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 07:06:54 +0000

Social media is a spiritual discipline

Learning how to “do” social media effectively is a lot like learning a spiritual discipline. There are paradoxes involved, and you have to abandon the traditional western approach of applying ego-based will-power to get results. Here are five spiritual ideas and how social media exemplifies them.

1. The law of attraction

The more you try to “get” results — such as increased sales or traffic — using social media, the more likely you will fail. If you come across as too pushy or too self-promotional, you will be shunned. You can’t use traditional selling or marketing techniques that rely on pushing your message out. Instead, you have to be like a light, a beacon. You have to be attractive, to attract.

This is the paradoxical nature of the law of attraction. The more content, confident, happy you feel as you engage in social media, the more likely you will be to attract attention. Neediness and greediness will have the opposite effect.

2. Letting go of attachment to outcome

If you are concerned with the bottom line, and with the results of your efforts, you will miss opportunities for engagement, for community building, and for nurturing long-term customers and readers. Letting go of attachment to outcome also frees you up to discover what you enjoy, and to do more of that. Plus, it leads you to be in …

3. The moment

The gift of social media is ironic — given that it is done largely when people are alone in front of an electronic device, and their pixels are engaging with other people’s pixels in cyberspace. But if you are truly engaged in social media, having conversations, sharing interesting, important or entertaining information, you are in the moment. Social media gives you the opportunity to interact with others; to notice others, to get interested in who they are and what they have to say, or what they want to share. The more you are able to JUST BE, the more likely you will have satisfying exchanges. It also helps to accept that you have little or no control. Just like life.

4. To give is to get

One of the best uses of social media is curatorial: looking and finding things to share, plus adding your own take and embellishing. The social media net is like a matrix; in fact, it is a lot like the connectedness that spiritual masters teach is at the base of all reality. Movements take root, people inspire each other, they help each other to reach a wider audience, new connections are made, even friendships. The effects of sharing are instantaneous, unpredictable, creative; and the more you give, the more you benefit, both because sharing and being generous are highly valued in the social media world; and also because of the nature of social media and how it works.

5. Go with the flow

Yoga teaches that going with the flow of energy creates efficiency and harmony, and puts you in a more spiritual and creative frame of mind. For example, I am writing this in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep. I am going with the flow of my restless energy — and creating a blog post! Likewise, on social media, it is more harmonious and satisfying to go with the flow, and join in conversations, trends, organized chats. Once you accept that you cannot make things happen — you have to let them happen — you can relax and enjoy … and trust that social media will help sweep you and your business towards your destiny.

And like any spiritual discipline, you don’t just learn these ideas once. You continue to learn and practise, always getting a little more awareness, a little more mastery, until the knower and the knowing meld….

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Top 5 ways my India travels differ from Eat, Pray, Love

Mariellen — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 02:31:24 +0000

Me, Liz and the subcontinent

I traveled in India and studied yoga, but there the Eat, Pray, Love similarities end

Because I travel in India and write about it, many people ask me if I was influenced by the book Eat, Pray, Love, and they try and compare me to author Elizabeth Gilbert. Here are the five key differences between my story and Gilbert’s.

1. I did not have a hefty book advance to subsidize my trip. My trip to India was not research for a book, and I had to subsidize it myself out of my meager resources. I sold 1/3 of my possessions, gave up my apartment, moved into a small room and scrimped and saved for a year. After I returned, and realized how much I’d changed, I went through a lot of financial instability. The whole experience was a “real spiritual quest,” in the sense that I threw myself into it without any attachment to outcome. A big part of my journey was about throwing myself off the cliff to find out IF a net would appear. Read on for the other four.

2. I did not go to India because of EPL. I was already in India when the book was published so it didn’t influence me. For the record, seekers and travelers have been going to India for many generations. Steve Jobs went to India. The Beatles went to India. Mark Twain went to India. There’s even some evidence that Jesus went to India.

I went to India originally, in 2005, because of two reasons, carrot and stick. The carrot was that I always wanted to go; that virtually since childhood I have been drawn to the “mysterious east” — I painted Maharaja Palaces on my walls, practised Indian dancing, mooned over photos of The Beatles in Rishikesh (especially George) with marigolds around their necks, went out for Hallowe’en in flowing harem pants and a sequined top, etc.

The stick was that over the course of a few short years, I experienced a series of losses — both my parents died and my fiance and I broke up — and I fell into a lengthy and profound depression. I needed to do something to shake up my life, and at the age of 45, decided to go to India for six months to travel, volunteer and study yoga.

3. Gilbert went to three countries; I only went to India. My version could be called Pray, Pray, Pray because I only went to India; I didn’t go anywhere else. And my spiritual journey was a big part of my trip.

Part of the reason I went to India, and one of the things that drew me there, was yoga. But I have to say, I learned as much about yoga just by traveling in India as I did by studying at an ashram. In order to deal with the crowds, chaos, delays, I learned how to:

go with the flow,
find inner stillness,
trust in the universe.

In other words, I learned many of the teachings of yoga.

4. This is not a love story. EPL ends with Gilbert meeting the love of her life, Philipe. I actually did meet a man in India, and became part of his big, fat Indian family, but that wasn’t the point, it wasn’t the ultimate gift of that trip.

I gained so much from that trip, and my subsequent four more trips to India, that I could write a book about it (hey, I did!), but here is the top 3:

I gained a completely new awareness of the world and my place in it. Traveling in India was really the first time I have ever left my “middle class bubble” and stepped out of my comfort zone. It gave me a completely new perspective on life and on myself as a global citizen.
I gained a new career. I started travel blogging and now I publish Breathedreamgo, write travel stories for magazines and newspapers, and I published a book, Song of India.
I gained a new spiritual awareness that includes recognizing the power each of us has to manifest our dreams and remake our reality. We have more control over our minds than we think we do, and less over the circumstances of our life. So the other big spiritual awareness for me was around realizing that I am part of a much bigger consciousness, that we’re all connected, and that everything turns out the way it’s supposed to.

5. Going, going, gone. Gilbert came back from Italy, India and Bali, married her man, and wrote a book about commitment. I never really came back from India. I’ve traveled to India on four lengthy trips since my first trip, and have a career that is largely based around writing about India. Part of my journey has been to open up to another culture in a very profound way, and it has given me so much in terms of meaningful adventure. In fact, in India I discovered my soul culture, and parts of myself that I never knew existed.

Moi on the morning of the Kumbh Mela 2010 in Haridwar

My top travel tip

If you really want to travel, and be a traveler, not a tourist, consider going alone; or if not alone, then make every effort to open yourself up to the experience and let it affect you, let it change you. Let it shatter your biases. Let it provoke your compassion. Let it change you. I call this respectful travel — and it really means not only respecting the culture you are traveling in, but also respecting yourself too. If money is an object, you can find free travel, too.

NOTE: This speech was given at the Toronto MeetPlanGo event on October 18, 2011.

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What spirituality is

Mariellen — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 03:19:21 +0000

Scene from the Mahabharat: Krishna and Arjun at the battle of Kurukshetra

You don’t have to remove yourself from life to “be spiritual”

Yoga philosopher tells an ancient story to illustrate a universal truth

Yoga philosopher, Kirtan leader, Sanskrit teacher, Sitar artist and the writer / blogger behind Akshara Yoga blog: Ram Vakkalanka is accomplished in many things. He is also my friend, I am proud to say. Ram and I have bonded over our deep love and respect for the wisdom traditions and culture of India. We have many shared ideas and notions about yoga and spiritual philosophy, and feel that the essence of these teachings is largely lost, overlooked or misunderstood in the west (and sometimes even in India).

Some time back, I wrote a blog, What yoga is, after attending a workshop with internationally known yoga teacher Mark Whitwell at the Yoga Festival of Toronto. I was delighted to discover that Mark Whitwell really “gets” yoga; and I feel the same way about Ram. Over dosas at a Toronto South Indian restaurant, we discussed the essence of spirituality and Ram told me the story of Kaushika, which I loved. He said, “In the great epic Mahabharata, there is the story an aspiring yogi called Kaushika who meditates for many years but fails to attains self-awakening.” I feel the story expresses a truth about spirituality that many people don’t seem to understand. Here it is.

Kaushika’s story as told by Ram Vakkalanka

There was a young man called Kaushika, who practiced meditation and yogic austerities for a long time in a forest near a city called Mithila in northeastern part of India. One day, while Kaushika was resting under a tree after a long stretch of meditation, a crane landed on top of the branch directly above Kaushika and defecated. The bird’s excretion fell on Kaushika’s head. Kaushika felt uncontrollable wrath at this and looked at the bird severely. As if Kaushika’s angry looks were a deadly arrow, the crane fell down dead. Seeing this, Kaushika thought to himself that be due to his austerities, he attained some kind of extraordinary powers and was proud of himself.

Scene from the Mahabharat: Krishna and Arjun at the battle of Kurukshetra

People practising spiritual austerities in those days were enjoined not to spend time on any worldly activities such as earning money, having possessions and cooking, but devote their time entirely to meditation and other spiritual practices. During this time, it was incumbent upon the householders in the community to support the spiritual seekers with life’s necessities such as food and clothing. This practice served two-fold purpose: the spiritual seeker has to practice control of senses and eating whatever was donated by others rather than entertaining desires for specific, tasty food, helped in that; and, it forced householders to practice charity, communal sharing and promoted a spirit of service. This process of collecting food is called Madhukara.

Poster for the TV version of the Mahabharat

Just as a honey-bee collects honey little by little from many flowers, the spiritual aspirant has to collect his food little by little from different households, without being a burden on any family. The aspirants are allowed only one meal a day and they can ask for food only three times. As per the tradition, Kaushika went into the city to get some food later that day. As luck would have it, Kaushika didn’t get any food from the first two houses he chose that day. Kaushika stood in front of the third and last house for the day, hungry and tired, and asked for food. The lady of the house was busy serving a meal to her family at that time and didn’t respond promptly to Kaushika. Having asked for food three times and not getting any response, Kaushika was about to move on with a little disappointment, when he saw the lady of the house hastily coming out with some food to donate. Starving and impatient, Kaushika looked at her angrily for the inordinate delay in serving him food.

The lady, sensing Kaushika’s anger, looked at him quietly and said, “I was busy serving my family and hence the delay. Besides, I am not a crane to be killed by your angry looks.” Kaushika’s consternation knew no bounds! How did this lady know about the morning’s incident, to which there were only two witnesses: himself and the crane! The lady, as if reading Kaushika’s thoughts said to him, “Yoga is not just about sitting under a tree and meditating. You can attain enlightenment by discharging your responsibilities perfectly and being detached. If you have further doubts, please see the town butcher Dharmavyadha and he will give you all answers.”

Kaushika, quite humbled, silently walked away from there looking for Dharmavyadha, the butcher. As soon as Dharmavyadha saw Kaushika, he smiled, addressed Kaushika by name and remarked about the latter’s encounter with the lady as if he were a direct witness to the incident. This was the second shock for the day to Kaushika. Reduced to dust by the so-called commoners, Kaushika humbly asked Dharmavyadha what kind of yogic practices he practiced to obtain such miraculous spiritual powers. Dharmavyadha said to Kaushika, “I never practiced any spiritual austerities, meditation or yoga like you. All I know is how to do my duty well. I serve my parents and elders, take care of my family, fulfill my obligations to the society and I practice detachment from all this knowing that I am the eternal self and always free.” Kaushika received Dharmavyadha’s teachings with utmost reverence, realized his folly in talking the life of an innocent bird and left with a perfect idea of yoga philosophy.

Yoga philosophy from the masters

Ram Vakkalanka

Adi Shankaracharya, one of the most renowned yoga philosophers, said: Svasvakarmanushthanameva Bhagavataha Puja - fulfilling one’s duties and obligations constitutes highest spiritual austerity and leads to spiritual liberation. Bhagavadgita, one of the most authoritative works on yoga, offers an interesting definition of yoga: Yogaha Karmasu Kaushalam – yoga is perfect fulfillment of one’s duties. In other words, a plumber who does a great job is practicing yoga, an athlete who brings medals to his country is a yogi, a mother who raises a healthy family is a yogi, a leader who leads his community towards progress is a yogi. Yoga is the birthright of everyone; no country, no culture, no color, no race has an exclusive right to it. The housewife, the musician, the mechanic…anyone can (and should) be a yogi.

In fact, one of the most sublime teachings of Bhagavadgita is: Yogasthaha Kuru Karmani - being established in a state of yoga, fulfill your role in the world. If you are a teacher, strive to be the best teacher you can be; if you are an electrician, be the best electrician you can be, if you are a soldier, be the best soldier you can be. Balance your head and heart, realize that you are not simply a name and a form, but the Divine itself and approach everything and everyone in life from a love-based higher view point. Then you will find imperturbable peace and harmony inside and outside. This is the quintessential teaching of yoga philosophy. In the great epic Mahabharata, the story about Kaushika illustrates this point perfectly.

Not that postures and meditation don’t constitute yoga, but that’s not all there is to yoga. Yoga can be practiced by everyone at every walk of life, any every moment of life, on and off the mat!

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Top 5 things I’ve learned after traveling a year in India

Mariellen — Tue, 24 May 2011 14:56:16 +0000

India is a teacher; travelers are students

People often ask me why I am so interested in India, why I like traveling there so much. There are lots of reasons, of course — from the warmth of the people, to the taste of the food; from the adventure of travel to the colourful festivals; from the flowing, feminine clothes to the sunny skies. The single most compelling reason, however, is probably the attitude towards god and spirituality — and how that attitude affects almost everything about the culture and atmosphere of India.

And what does that difference mean for me (and other spiritual seekers from the west)? It means that when I am in India, not only do I feel more alive than anywhere else (for the reasons listed above), but I learn a lot. I learn a lot about myself, about the world, and about spiritual truths. Travel in India is adventure travel in every sense of the word. Here are the top five things I’ve learned in India.

1. Don’t worry, be happy

Door at Roopanghar Fort, Rajasthan

I’ve traveled for well over a year in India, most of it by myself. I’ve had to deal with crowds, chaos, delays, unhygienic conditions, culture shock, large insects, small rodents, illness and unwanted attention. Among other things. What I’ve learned from all of this is that everything works out. Not only does everything work out, deviations from your original plan sometime turn out far better than anything you could have planned. In fact, letting things happen, instead of trying to control them all the time, is the best formula for magic.

And even if it appears that things are not working out AT ALL, sometimes, it’s just our perception and understanding that is off. In fact, the universe is unfolding exactly as it should. When viewed through a certain lens, everything is perfect, and the universe is 100% supporting us; gently (and sometimes not so gently), guiding us towards our destiny and the lessons we need to learn to grow and learn. And best of all, it is absolutely within our control to view the universe through this lens, which some will call rose-coloured. I don’t know if it’s rose-coloured or not, but I do know that it makes for a much less tense, anxious, unhappy experience of travel, and thus of life.

I wrote an entire article about our control over our perception for Brave New Traveler, called Travel is an exercise in perception. To summarize, “we do not see the world the way it is; we see the world the way we are.” But not only do we see the world through only our own little window — which completely influences the way we see things — we can control how we see the world. India is a particularly good teacher of this truth because India is a very soft, pliable and responsive place: whatever attitude you travel with will be reflected back to you. If you’re frightened, you will have scary experiences. If you’re suspicious, you will be ripped off and even robbed. There seems to be a kind of instant karma at work.

This is why I always advise people to go to India with an open and trusting attitude. I genuinely love India, and genuinely trust (most) Indians, and this is why I generally have very good experiences there. Of course there are times when instinct teaches us to be cautious — and I always listen and respond to these feelings. It also helps that I have learned to trust myself, and that is the root of trust. Traveling in India is one of the most challenging things I have done, and the degree of self-confidence I have built up because of it is incalculable.

2. People are good

Okay, yes, there are exceptions … but when you put yourself in a vulnerable position, and when you open your heart with trust and faith and a feeling of goodwill towards your fellow man/woman, you will largely be rewarded with kindness. Sometimes extraordinary kindness.

Men helping me replace my mobile phone in Mumbai

I have so many stories of people helping me, feeding me on a long train ride when I didn’t pack enough food; walking me to my destination when I didn’t know the way; inviting me into their homes and even families. And I’ve heard loads of other similar stories from people traveling in India, and elsewhere. When you travel, you open yourself up in a new way, and give people the opportunity to help you. It’s a lesson in the interconnectedness of life.

India is, unfortunately, known for con men, touts and other unscrupulous characters who try to rip people off by over-charging and other shady practises, but even many of these people would help you if you needed it. Many Indians are poor and this explains their behaviour to a large degree. I have seen people change in front of me when they realized I was treating them with respect, or when I needed their help. There are very few “bad” people, in my view. (And of course if you think you have come across one of them, you should be appropriately cautious.)

3. Yoga is not about putting your leg behind your head

Giving alms to sadhus in Rishikesh

I studied and practised yoga for close to 15 years, even gaining a certificate in yoga teacher training, before going to India for the first time. I discovered that I had been swimming in a yoga pond; in India, I discovered a yoga ocean. There is no way to communicate how vast the difference is between the way yoga is taught and understood in India, as compared to in the west, if you haven’t experienced it. My understanding of yoga completely transformed in India.

The point of yoga is to still the mind so that you can experience the truth of your being. And what is the truth of your being? That we are all part of one god-consciousness; that we are made of bliss; that love is the basic substance of the universe.

Can you reach this understanding through the intense asana (physical) practise of yoga? Maybe. But that’s not the intention. Asana practise is intended to help you relax the body, and keep it fit and healthy, so it won’t distract you in your higher pursuits. It is a means, not an end. I wrote about this in What yoga is.

4. God is love

In India, I discovered a vision of spirituality that makes more sense to me than anything else I’ve come across — the advaita (or non-dual) idea that all life is part of one god-consciousness; that duality only exists in the field of time and space, and is illusory.

I agree with Mahatma Gandhi, who said, “I used to believe that god is truth; now I believe that truth is god.” I agree with Joseph Campbell who said, “People are not looking for meaning in life; they are looking for an experience of life.” I agree with Carl Jung who said that, “The purpose of human existence is to light a candle in the darkness of mere being.” And I understand why Buddha gave a teaching in which he simply held up a flower and said nothing.

My teacher, Swami Brahmdev of Aurovalley Ashram (who is a disciple of Sri Aurobindo), teaches something very similar: he teaches that the purpose of life as a sentient being is to increase our consciousness. We do this by having experiences, reacting, learning and growing. Life is basically a series of experiments, and, with the right attitude, you can see each one as an opportunity to learn.

5. Money does not buy happiness

Children at a Mumbai train station

In the consumer-oriented and materialistic west, we have come to equate money and happiness. However, in more traditional societies, like India, this link is not so resolutely forged (although that is changing with the rise of the urban middle class). It has been my experience that some of the happiest people I’ve met are also some of the least materially well-off. As long as people are getting their basic material needs met, they can be happy — with the right attitude.

The religious tradition in Indian teaches people to be content, to be grateful and to regularly thank and celebrate god for the gift of life and the beauty and abundance of nature. In traditional India, nature is considered sacred. And the society places a great value on family life and relationships. People know who they are, they are connected to their extended families, their communities and their roots. All of this makes for a base of people who are warm, generous and helpful, and who know what’s really important in life. And meeting people like this has been my experience traveling in India.

Every study on happiness shows these are the things that contribute far more to happiness than a big-screen TV, late-model car, huge house, fancy phone, designer shoes, wrinkle-free face and fat-free figure.

And for people who are afraid to travel to India because they don;t want to face the poverty, please read my Matador article India, poverty and the fear of traveling to poor places.

Summary

Seeing the universe as a loving, intelligent force that always has my best interests at heart — and learning to let go of the need to control, to let go of the need to “be” a certain way, and to surrender to the flow of life — has had an enormous impact on my experience of life. It’s made it much easier. And I am just a beginner on this path …

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10 top reasons to visit India

Mariellen — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 15:07:36 +0000

Taj Mahal, Agra, India 2006

[Note: Originally published on Bootsnall as 10 Reasons to visit India now.]

1. The Taj Mahal. Yup, it is. The world’s most beautiful building. This is one of those rare times in life when all of your expectations will be blown away, no matter how much hyperbole you’ve been exposed to about it; no matter how many pictures you’ve seen; no matter how much poetry you’ve read. Tagore had it right when he wrote the Taj Mahal is, “a teardrop on the face of eternity.” See it at sunrise, put up with Agra, do whatever you can, but make sure the Taj Mahal is on your itinerary or you will kick yourself for eternity.

2. Sensory overload. India is a place to be experienced not visited, and the culture shock that jolts your system – often into a heightened sense of awareness and perspective – is part of the fun. So, throw yourself into the mayhem and learn as quickly as you can to enjoy it. You may find that there’s a lot to be said for chaos – and a lot to be said for learning to let go and go with the flow. At the very least, life back home will seem a lot easier to handle.

Photo of Har-ki-Pauri, Haridwar, India during aarti, Kumbh Mela 2010

3. Yoga. There are many yoga teachers, schools and ashrams in India to choose from, but you don’t actually need to study yoga to absorb its essential teachings about flow, oneness and finding your inner stillness. Just about everything that happens when you’re traveling in India is an exercise in yoga. Train delay? Perfect time for meditation. Aggressive touts after you? Practise accessing your inner witness and not reacting. Dose of Delhi-belly? Go with the flow (literally) and remember this too shall pass.

4. Festivals. There’s a festival just about every day in India. You name it, and there’s a festival for it: elephants, camels, unmarried women, kites, the nectar of immortality, Krishna’s birthday, Rama’s return, etc., etc. Holi is a favourite of locals and visitors alike. Also called the Festival of Colour, people throw coloured powder at each other and eat sweets in a frenzied celebration of spring. Another favourite is Diwali. Called the Festival of Lights, it takes place in the fall. On the big night, the sky lights up in a blitz of fireworks that last hours and hours and hours and hours ….

Photo of Kanchendzonga at sunrise from Tiger Hill, Darjeeling 2010

5. The Himalayas. Many of the world’s highest mountains – including the top three, Everest, K2 and Kanchenjunga – are part of this vast range that runs along India’s eastern border for more than 2,400 kilometres. These are also some of the world’s most sacred mountains. A visit to India is not complete without a stop at a touristy hill station like Simla or Darjeeling, or a sacred city in the foothills, like Rishikesh.

6. Spicy food. If you don’t like spicy food, don’t go to India. It’s not that you can’t avoid it …. But what’s the point?! Opinion is divided as to whether the state of Rajasthan or the southern city of Hyderabad has the hottest food, but you can find hot and spicy dishes all over the country. If you’re worried, order some dahi or curd (yogurt) or a sweet or salty lassi (yogurt drink). The yogurt quenches the fire in your mouth.

7. Shopping in a bazaar or market. In India, a trip to the market (or bazaar) is much more than a shopping expedition: it’s full-on cultural immersion. The markets are incredibly lively, full of colourful merchandise and even more colourful characters. And some of them, like the medieval lanes of Old Delhi, are like a journey into India’s storied past. Go with the unhurried zeal of an explorer, enjoy the process of finding a treasure and get into the spirit of the place by haggling over the price. In India, the fine art of bargaining is part custom, part relationship building exercise and part spectator sport. Don’t let shyness or misplaced ethics keep you from partaking in India’s favourite pastime.

8. Beaches. India has 7,500 kilometres of coastline, and though not all of it is pristine, there are some wonderful stretches, especially in Goa (which tends to be touristy) and Kerala. Most tourists flock to the well-known beaches, which means it’s easy to get far from the madding crowd. Try Gokarna in Karnataka, the beaches of the Andaman and Nicobar islands, Tarkarli in Maharastha or Puri in Orissa. Wherever you go, you can find options at each end of the budgetary scale, from tiny beach shacks for $2 per night to seven-star luxury resorts that provide you with your own butler.

9. The caves of Ellora and Ajanta. Ajanta is older and full of Buddhist paintings; Ellora is bigger and features carvings and rock-cut architecture. They’re both within an easy drive of Aurangabad, a nondescript city about a nine-hour train ride inland from Mumbai. But the mere facts do not prepare you for the magnificence of these UNESCO World Heritage sites, second only to the Taj Mahal. The entire two days I spent exploring them I kept thinking, why don’t more people know about these!?

Buddhist cave at Ellora, near Aurangabad, India

10. A long train ride. Preferably overnight. Indian Railways is the world’s largest employer, and the train system in India is extensive to say the least. There are several grades of trains – the best are Shatabdis and Rajdhanis – and three main classes: first, second and third. Second class is usually a good choice with four bunks per compartment, each separated by a curtain; but an overnight train ride in first class on a Rajdhani train is a nice treat (though don’t expect luxury, especially in the bathroom).

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