BreatheDreamGo » Travel

Breathedreamgo wins a travel blog award

Mariellen — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 02:59:04 +0000

Second place win in Canadian Weblog Awards

I am very excited to announce that Breathedreamgo won a Canadian Weblog Award in the Travel category!

Thanks so much to Ninjamatics and the jury for nominating and choosing Breathedreamgo. It couldn’t come at a better time as I am seeking sponsorship for the blog and for an ambitious travel blogging trip I am planning to India and South Asia! Read this Breathedreamgo Sponsorship Opportunities PDF to find out more.

At the outset of the contest, I was nominated in the Writing, Design and Travel categories. On the short list, I was down to Design and Travel. And when they announced the winners today, I won second place in the Travel category, in between Gourmet Fury and Have Baby Will Travel – both excellent blogs, and very different from Breathedreamgo.

As I have said many times before, this blog is a labour of love, and any recognition I receive is very welcome and much appreciated.

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My story, or why I write about travel in India

Mariellen — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 14:06:07 +0000

Elephant blessing in Kancheepuram, Tamil Nadu, India, 2006

Creativity: The missing link

I recently realized that my story doesn’t actually appear anywhere on my blog. By that I mean, a concise telling of why I blog about India. And it’s not like I just started this. I’ve been traveling in India, and blogging about it, for six years. But it feels like it’s time, especially since Sir Ken Robinson helped provide me with some new insight.

In early December of 2011, I marked the six-year anniversary of landing in India for the first time by publishing Six years of travel writing and blogging. A while later, I was on Twitter and saw a Tweet from @SirKenRobinson, which said he was writing about passion. You have probably seen Sir Ken’s video — the most famous TED video ever, about how school kills creativity in kids.

I tweeted my six year blog to Sir Ken, he read it and retweeted it, and the next day his co-author Lou Aronica contacted me and interviewed me for their new book, Finding Your Element — which is a follow-up to their bestseller about passion called The Element. The interview with Lou was cathartic and made me realize why I do a lot of the things I do: it’s because I am a deeply creative person who has never had my creativity supported. Well, certainly not in school.

Alice in Wonderland

So now I see more clearly a thread running through my life, which goes like this. I taught myself to read before starting school. I had a sensitive nervous system and was absent one-third of each school year, but was always at the top of my class. By the age of 10 I was reading Dickens. In short, I was bright, creative and “precocious” (the word my mom used to describe me, along with pensive and sensitive – she often compared me to Alice in Wonderland, and we even looked alike with long blonde hair held back by a hairband.).

But I experienced childhood trauma (too personal to discuss here) and my school didn’t know what to do with me so they had me skip two grades. I was too young when I entered high school, and quit the day I turned 16. It didn’t help that my family felt apart at about that time, and for a while I had no place to live. I was born sensitive, so add childhood trauma, a botched education and sudden lack of family support when I was about 17, and you get a mega-dose of teenage angst. My teenage years were filled with emotional problems. I was even hospitalized for three weeks for depression.

By the time I reached adulthood, I didn’t know who I was, and I was operating in a kind of survival mode.

When I was young, before everything fell apart, I wanted to study comparative religion, English and mythology at university. But instead, I went to college for journalism because it was more practical. My dreams were so deeply buried, I didn’t know they existed. I worked in communications for many years, drifting from one job to another. (And from one boyfriend to another.) Rootless. Passionless.

There were a few highpoints and I did have some fun, though. In my 20s, I was part of the alternative music demi monde scene in Toronto and partied “like it was 1999″ in the early 1980s, with bands like Duran Duran, The The and The Psychedelic Furs. After graduating with a BA in journalism I worked at a leading fashion magazine. Then, I worked in the film industry and attended several films festivals, including Cannes, and met loads of movie stars. (Big deal. Anthony Hopkins stands out, very gentlemanly.) I traveled a lot, through France, to central America, many times to London, New York and once to Paris. When I was about 30, I moved to Tokyo, Japan with my film executive boyfriend, and traveled from there to Australia, Hong Kong and Thailand.

My mom, me and my sister Victoria during my groovy years, circe 1983

There were some low points, too: my best friend killed herself. I had ongoing issues with anxiety and depression and became addicted to anti-anxiety pills. Financial troubles dogged me as I tried to pursue a writing career, and once found myself on welfare, and visiting a food bank.

In my 30s I experienced a crisis and started therapy, and realized I was deeply affected by childhood abuse. I dedicated many years to healing from it, and even gained a certificate in Gestalt Therapy, practising part-time for seven years.

Loss, trauma and my bleakest hour

In my late 30s I was hit by a series of traumas. In a few short years my father declared bankruptcy and we lost our family cottage (which was like losing a family member); my mother died suddenly and unexpectedly and I found her body; my fiance left me, with an expensive wedding dress in the closet; I had a bicycle accident and broke my elbow; and my father died of cancer.

During yoga teacher training. Photo courtesy Christine Lynes.

By the end of it, I was flattened. I was in my 40s, unmarried, no kids, no career, no parents, no money. I was in a deep depression, filled with feelings of grief and irreconcilable loss. None of my early potential had manifested, my dreams were long-lost. It was my bleakest hour.

Slowly, like the ice thaw in early spring. I came out of the depression by doing yoga, and by deciding to go after a dream: to become a yoga teacher. Though I was the oldest and least flexible person in my class, I threw myself into the training program and midway through, had a strange, kundalini-like experience.

A teacher who had lately returned from training in India really impacted me, and somehow I started releasing energy, or channeling energy, and went into a kind of altered state. It happened at the same time as the tsunami in southeast Asia; and for me, it was like a personal tsunami. In three weeks, I lost 15 pounds. And I was gripped with a compulsion to go to India. I had never felt anything like it before, and I had to obey.

I started planning and saving and about 11 months later left for India on December 5, 2005, for a six-month odyssey. I have written probably a half-million words about the affect that trip had on me. How it gave me back my dreams, recharged my life, made me feel I was finally home and provided me with the inspiration to finally start my writing career. I had wanted to be a writer since childhood, but I didn’t have my subject matter until I went to India.

1,001 Tales of the Arabian Nights

When I was a child I was obsessed with the 1,001 Tales of the Arabian Nights and painted huge murals on my walls, of genies coming out of bottles and maharaja palaces. In India, I found the real-life version of my childhood walls; and the inspirational spark to ignite my imagination. India is my soul’s home and my muse.

I’ve found my dreams, and they are traveling (especially in India and Asia), writing and yoga. And I have followed them whole-heartedly for the last few years, because they were buried for so long. Followed them irrationally and without thought to where they would lead. Followed them without knowing how I would support myself financially. I’ve been to India on five lengthy trips and published loads of blogs, articles, a book. I’ve been asked to speak, I’ve been interviewed and I’ve had some fantastic adventures like attending the Kumbh Mela and dancing with Shahrukh Khan. It’s been a magic carpet ride. But I’ve done it with almost no real support, or financial return.

My interview for Lou Aronica and Sir Ken Robinson’s book seemed to bring things full circle for me; it provided a big puzzle piece. I am the same pensive girl, lost in my imagination, dreaming of the “exotic” Orient, making up stories, wishing I could live in my imaginary world, that I was in childhood. A grown-up cross between Alice in Wonderland, having adventures, and Scheherazade, spinning tales. But now I’m trying to make a livelihood from it as a travel writer and blogger who specializes in writing about Asia and meaningful travel.

So, that’s my story. I am now trying to figure out how to bring the “real world” and the world of my imagination together, so I can live a sustainable, creative life. And I’m trying to break the pattern of not having enough support in my life. It’s hard.

If you enjoyed this post, you can….

Get updates and read additional stories on the Breathedreamgo Facebook page.

Buy Song of India, a collection of 10 feature stories about my travels in India. E-book version is now only $1.99.

Subscribe to the free — and inspiring! — e-newsletter, Travel That Changes You.

Thank you for reading. Please visit BreatheDreamGo or stop by my Facebook page at Breathedreamgo.

What is Immersive Travel?

Mariellen — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 14:08:02 +0000

Bada Bagh, Jaisalmer: India is my soul culture

Immersive Travel column on Travel+Escape

Last month, I started writing a bi-monthly “column” for the new Travel+Escape website — which complements the new Canadian TV channel — about immersive travel. What is immersive travel? It’s travel that takes you deep into a culture and changes you. Immersive travel can be voluntourism, solo travel or long-term travel. It can be embarking on a spiritual path or a going to a health & wellness retreat. Or it can be simply an attitude. It’s about being open to a new culture, learning from it, and letting it change your ideas, beliefs and assumptions about life and the world. If you go on a trip, and see things differently when you get back home — then, you have probably experienced immersive travel. Here’s a synopsis of my first three columns.

Are you a tourist or a traveler?

If you have men who will only come if they know there is a good road, I don’t want them, I want men who will come if there is no road at all.” ~ David Livingstone

There’s a difference between a traveller and a tourist. Maybe I’m old-fashioned: I prefer reading to television; trains to jets; long sojourns to quick getaways. I love reading stories about travellers who went abroad for months, even years, and became completely transformed. Like Ibn Batutta. He left his homeland, Morocco, to make a hajj (pilgrimage) to Mecca in 1325AD that should have taken 16 months. He didn’t return home for 24 years.

In total, Ibn Battuta traveled for 30 years. He covered most of Africa, Europe, the Middle East, India and Southeast Asia, all the way to China, for a total of 75,000 miles (121,000 km) – a mileage record that held for more than 400 years. Batutta recorded his travels in a book called The Rihla (Journeys) of Ibn Battuta.

I think of the 19th century as the golden age of travel. People packed steamer trunks and ventured out into the world before there was any kind of tourism infrastructure. These people had adventures!

To read more, please visit Are you a tourist or a traveler? on the Travel+Escape website.

Three hotels that off the comfort of luxury with the joy of cultural immersion

When you think of immersive travel, you may think of living in a local’s house, eating home-cooked food and following the family’s daily rhythm. I do like staying in small guesthouses and homestays when I travel, but I also enjoy finding higher-end accommodation that tries to preserve the spirit of cultural authenticity.

The three hotels featured here ― the Bhakti Kutir in Goa, the Windamere Hotel in Darjeeling and the Uma Paro in Bhutan ― each combine the best of both worlds, the comfort of luxury with the joy of cultural immersion.

To read more, please visit Comfort and Joy on the Travel+Escape website.

Have you found your soul culture?

There are many ways to experience “immersive travel.” You can travel somewhere to live for a time, or volunteer. You can study the culture, learn the language or master the arts. But the type of immersive travel I am writing about today cannot be engineered. You cannot make it happen.

I call it finding your “soul culture” and it’s like falling in love. It just happens.

Sometimes, people discover a corner of the world where they feel most at home. It is often in a country and culture far away, and far different, from their own, and it doesn’t make a lot of rational sense.

People who found their soul culture always intrigued me. And, I admit, I was a bit jealous. Though I had traveled to many parts of the world, and lived in Tokyo, I had never felt that special affinity, and didn’t know if I ever would. Then, in late 2004, at about the same time the tsunami struck Southeast Asia, a personal tsunami of sorts hit me.

I was trying to recover from a series of devastating losses that had left me feeling flattened, and was enrolled in a yoga teacher training program. That’s when the idea of going to India for six months grabbed hold of me.

To read more please visit Have you found your soul culture? on the Travel+Escape website.

If you enjoyed this post, you can….

Get updates and read additional stories on the Breathedreamgo Facebook page.

Buy Song of India, a collection of 10 feature stories about my travels in India. E-book version is now only $1.99.

Subscribe to the free — and inspiring! — e-newsletter, Travel That Changes You.

Thank you for reading. Please visit BreatheDreamGo or stop by my Facebook page at Breathedreamgo.

6 years of travel writing and blogging

Mariellen — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 03:21:01 +0000

The moment it hit me I was in India: mosque at Qutab Minar complex, Delhi 2005

Reflections on 6 years of travel writing

On how I became a travel writer and blogger by throwing myself off the cliff of reason.

It was six years ago today, December 6, 2005, that I landed in Delhi, India for the first time. It was Day One of my six-month odyssey; the start of my trip-of-a-lifetime; and the beginning of a new chapter in life, I hoped.

On my first morning in India, I stepped out into the warm December sunshine of my friends’ big, white, marble terrace in South Delhi and felt I had landed in heaven. It was warm, I was surrounded by a loving family and I was finally in India — a place I had dreamed of since childhood, but never thought I would ever see. I felt an immediate affinity with India; it was like going “home.” But I had absolutely no idea where the next six months would lead, what would happen, or what I would get out of the experience.

I wasn’t thinking ahead at all. (Read my first blog ever, dated Dec. 6, 2005, Delhi.) Nevertheless, I’ve gained so much from that one decision, the decision to go to India. Most importantly, I recovered from the entrenched grief depression that sent me to India in the first place. The trip also set me back on the path I believe I was meant to be on — before a life-long series of losses, traumas, distractions and emotional challenges got in my way.

Sunset from the terrace in Delhi, 2005

A travel writing dream is born

It took a few years for that first trip to change my life and career; and for the first blog I wrote — on the Travelblog.org site — to evolve into Breathedreamgo. But when I did decide, about three years ago, to really “go for it,” I threw myself completely into pursuing my dreams of travel and writing, with no thought to whether it was practical or economically feasible. I just knew I had to do it. I had lost both my parents and felt: if not now, when?

I’ve never worked so hard in my life and I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished. I’ve connected with childhood dreams, and manifested them. I’ve learned how to write from the heart. I’ve allowed myself to open up to a completely new culture, and learn from it. I’ve grown, and changed, and expanded my horizons. I’ve built a blog and following; published feature articles and my book, Song of India; traveled for 14 months in India; made lots of friends and connections; co-founded Toronto Travel Massive; and raised awareness and funds for a number of worthwhile projects and organizations, such as UNICEF, World Literacy of Canada, Project Tiger and the Intrepid Foundation / Deepalaya.

The positive comments from readers are perhaps my proudest accomplishment. I don’t write for readers’ approval — I write from the heart — but I am very proud that my writing appeals to both foreigners and Indians; and that I have achieved enough understanding and insight about Indian culture as to write with sensitivity and (I hope) a lack of ethnocentric judgment. The last thing I would want is to engage in any kind of cultural imperialism, and I hope I always avoid this all-too-comon pitfall.

The first photo taken of me in India, Siri Fort, South Delhi, 2005

It’s been a great ride

I had no idea that all of this would happen when I got on that plane at Pearson International Airport in Toronto on December 5, 2005. I knew I had to change my life, and begin to live my dreams or I would regret it forever. But I did not know what I was unleashing. And this is why you have to take action. You have to GO even if you do not know where your dreams are leading you.

Like now. I’m not sure where to go from here. Recently I was interviewed by Desi News, a Toronto-based South Asian publication, about my India journeys over the past six years. The editor asked me “What was the lowest point?” I answered, “Now, today.”

After six years of traveling to India; and about two-three years of working hard to try and change my career from corporate writer / editor to travel writer, blogger and journalist, I feel I am at a crossroads. I’ve accomplished a lot, but have not found this career to be financially sustainable. Freelance writing rates are dropping, blogs are not yet fully recognized — or rewarded — for the value they provide and I haven’t been able to land a book contract or a regular writing job with a media outlet.

The road less traveled

I often encourage people to go after their dreams, and I’m glad I have. I have no regrets. But I’ve discovered that pursuing your dreams is not easy. There’s a reason it’s the road less traveled. I am regularly assailed by self-doubt, and worried about where the next cheque is coming from. Some days, it feels like I’m moving further away from my goals, rather than toward; and I wonder whether I am just repeating some deep-seated negative patterns in my life, rather than actually moving forward.

When I was getting ready to go to India the first time, six years ago, one of my yoga teachers remarked that the journey begins when you come home. I had no idea what she meant back then, but I sure do now.

My dreams have exceeded my grasp. And I’m not sure what to do. This is what I want to do, I want the opportunity to write features like this: Breaking caste. Or books like this: Empire of the Soul. I want to travel in India. And bring my blog up this standard: Uncornered Market. But I feel I have hit a wall. I don’t see any real opportunities, and I’m completely out of resources.

They say it’s darkest before the dawn. I hope that’s what I’m experiencing. I hope I will be able to break out of my negative patterns and fulfill my potential. I guess we all do. But does it require luck or skill? Is it destiny or free will? Why do some people succeed and not others?

If you enjoyed this post, you can….

Get updates and read additional stories on the Breathedreamgo Facebook page.

Buy Song of India, a collection of 10 feature stories about my travels in India. E-book version is now only $1.99.

Subscribe to the free — and inspiring! — e-newsletter, Travel That Changes You.

Thank you for reading. Please visit BreatheDreamGo or stop by my Facebook page at Breathedreamgo.

GO Books: Going Full Tilt with Dervla Murphy

Mariellen — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 12:15:05 +0000

Dervla Murphy and her trusty steed, Roz

Launching GO Books

Full Tilt: From Ireland to India

This book review of Full Tilt: From Ireland to India by Dervla Murphy marks the first in a new series on Breathedreamgo called GO Books. I will be reviewing and recommending books about travel, personal transformation, culture, India, yoga and/or writing, and providing a link for purchase from Amazon. I will be reviewing classics, like Full Tilt, as well as newly published books. I will NOT recommend any book unless I absolutely believe it is a first-rate read. If you buy it and don’t like it, I will personally invite you over for a home-cooked dinner and you can tell me why (some conditions apply).

I am trying to hatch a plan to visit Ireland (the country of my ancestors) and look up Dervla Murphy. Ever since reading Full Tilt: From Ireland to India, I have become a staunch fan, and I am delighted the adventurous cyclist — who is now in her late 70s — is still with us. In 1963, Dervla Murphy — who was 32 years old at the time — rode her bicycle from the western edge of France all the way to Delhi, India. Yup, that means she rode through Turkey, Afghanistan, Pakistan, the Khyber Pass – the lot.

She not only fearlessly triumphed over wolves, wolfish men, blizzards, sunburn, snakes and much, much more, she broke out of the ‘confining parameters of her era’ to follow her rugged, independent spirit on a truly great adventure. And, lucky for us, she chronicled the journey in a rollicking book called Full Tilt. Dervla can not only ride, she can write. Her vivid descriptions and trenchant observations impart a sense of place, and of her in it — like a fly in ointment. A white woman riding a bicycle alone across the breadth of a country like, say, Afghanistan, was completely unheard of; so much so, that many people assumed she was a man.

I grew to really like Dervla, as much as I liked her spirit of adventure and her story. She has a (usually) non-judgmental, honest approach and a genuine love of people; and she seems to have a particular affinity for Muslim countries, especially Afghanistan and Pakistan. Plus, she has a way with words. In one of my favourite passages, about dealing with intense heat, she writes, “Riding into Delhi in July showed gross mismanagement of itinerary.”

Dervla Murphy

Dervla rarely writes about herself directly, but I have gleaned that she took care of aging and unwell parents for 16 years, until she was in her early 30s, missing out on much of her youth. After they passed away, she began planning this grand adventure — and I think the magnitude of it was in direct relation to the suffocation she must have felt. She continued to travel and write, even after her daughter Rachel was born; so if you like this book, there are plenty more to read, such as The Waiting Land: A Spell in Nepal and On a Shoestring to Coorg: A Travel Memoir of India and Tibetan Foothold.

Full Tilt was one of the best books I read last year (2010). It’s moving, exciting, heart-warming, well-written, true — all the things I like in a book. Paul Theroux wrote a chapter about Dervla Murphy in his book, The Tao of Travel. You can read an interview with him here.

My GO Books rating is 5 / 5: I would definitely put it in my backpack.

Author and book details

Dervla Murphy, born November 28, 1931, Ireland

Full Tilt first published in 1965; reprinted in 1987 (Overlook); and 2010 (Eland).

Purchase from Amazon by clicking image, below.

If you enjoyed this post, you can….

Get updates and read additional stories on the Breathedreamgo Facebook page.

Buy Song of India, a collection of 10 feature stories about my travels in India. E-book version is now only $1.99.

Subscribe to the free — and inspiring! — e-newsletter, Travel That Changes You.

Thank you for reading. Please visit BreatheDreamGo or stop by my Facebook page at Breathedreamgo.

Top 5 ways my India travels differ from Eat, Pray, Love

Mariellen — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 02:31:24 +0000

Me, Liz and the subcontinent

I traveled in India and studied yoga, but there the Eat, Pray, Love similarities end

Because I travel in India and write about it, many people ask me if I was influenced by the book Eat, Pray, Love, and they try and compare me to author Elizabeth Gilbert. Here are the five key differences between my story and Gilbert’s.

1. I did not have a hefty book advance to subsidize my trip. My trip to India was not research for a book, and I had to subsidize it myself out of my meager resources. I sold 1/3 of my possessions, gave up my apartment, moved into a small room and scrimped and saved for a year. After I returned, and realized how much I’d changed, I went through a lot of financial instability. The whole experience was a “real spiritual quest,” in the sense that I threw myself into it without any attachment to outcome. A big part of my journey was about throwing myself off the cliff to find out IF a net would appear. Read on for the other four.

2. I did not go to India because of EPL. I was already in India when the book was published so it didn’t influence me. For the record, seekers and travelers have been going to India for many generations. Steve Jobs went to India. The Beatles went to India. Mark Twain went to India. There’s even some evidence that Jesus went to India.

I went to India originally, in 2005, because of two reasons, carrot and stick. The carrot was that I always wanted to go; that virtually since childhood I have been drawn to the “mysterious east” — I painted Maharaja Palaces on my walls, practised Indian dancing, mooned over photos of The Beatles in Rishikesh (especially George) with marigolds around their necks, went out for Hallowe’en in flowing harem pants and a sequined top, etc.

The stick was that over the course of a few short years, I experienced a series of losses — both my parents died and my fiance and I broke up — and I fell into a lengthy and profound depression. I needed to do something to shake up my life, and at the age of 45, decided to go to India for six months to travel, volunteer and study yoga.

3. Gilbert went to three countries; I only went to India. My version could be called Pray, Pray, Pray because I only went to India; I didn’t go anywhere else. And my spiritual journey was a big part of my trip.

Part of the reason I went to India, and one of the things that drew me there, was yoga. But I have to say, I learned as much about yoga just by traveling in India as I did by studying at an ashram. In order to deal with the crowds, chaos, delays, I learned how to:

go with the flow,
find inner stillness,
trust in the universe.

In other words, I learned many of the teachings of yoga.

4. This is not a love story. EPL ends with Gilbert meeting the love of her life, Philipe. I actually did meet a man in India, and became part of his big, fat Indian family, but that wasn’t the point, it wasn’t the ultimate gift of that trip.

I gained so much from that trip, and my subsequent four more trips to India, that I could write a book about it (hey, I did!), but here is the top 3:

I gained a completely new awareness of the world and my place in it. Traveling in India was really the first time I have ever left my “middle class bubble” and stepped out of my comfort zone. It gave me a completely new perspective on life and on myself as a global citizen.
I gained a new career. I started travel blogging and now I publish Breathedreamgo, write travel stories for magazines and newspapers, and I published a book, Song of India.
I gained a new spiritual awareness that includes recognizing the power each of us has to manifest our dreams and remake our reality. We have more control over our minds than we think we do, and less over the circumstances of our life. So the other big spiritual awareness for me was around realizing that I am part of a much bigger consciousness, that we’re all connected, and that everything turns out the way it’s supposed to.

5. Going, going, gone. Gilbert came back from Italy, India and Bali, married her man, and wrote a book about commitment. I never really came back from India. I’ve traveled to India on four lengthy trips since my first trip, and have a career that is largely based around writing about India. Part of my journey has been to open up to another culture in a very profound way, and it has given me so much in terms of meaningful adventure. In fact, in India I discovered my soul culture, and parts of myself that I never knew existed.

Moi on the morning of the Kumbh Mela 2010 in Haridwar

My top travel tip

If you really want to travel, and be a traveler, not a tourist, consider going alone; or if not alone, then make every effort to open yourself up to the experience and let it affect you, let it change you. Let it shatter your biases. Let it provoke your compassion. Let it change you. I call this respectful travel — and it really means not only respecting the culture you are traveling in, but also respecting yourself too.

NOTE: This speech was given at the Toronto MeetPlanGo event on October 18, 2011.

If you enjoyed this post, you can….

Get updates and read additional stories on the Breathedreamgo Facebook page.

Buy Song of India, a collection of 10 feature stories about my travels in India.

Subscribe to the free — and inspiring! — e-newsletter, Travel That Changes You.

Thank you for reading. Please visit BreatheDreamGo or stop by my Facebook page at Breathedreamgo.

Interview with Chris Guillebeau

Mariellen — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 15:56:48 +0000

Chris Guillebeau of The Art of Non-Conformity

Living a remarkable life in a conventional world

My interview with the charismatic Chris Guillebeau of The Art of Non-Conformity

In my Travel That Changes You e-newsletter, and on my blog, I try and encourage people to breathe, dream and go. So, I cannot imagine a more perfect person to feature than Chris Guillebeau. Chris is the bright light behind The Art of Non-Conformity (AONC), the Unconventional Guides, the The Art of Non-Conformity book, a blog and online community. A prolific writer, a gifted speaker and an obsessed world traveler, he seems to have boundless energy for encouraging people to get off the hamster wheel and live life their own way.

And he leads by example. After publishing his book, The Art of Non-Conformity, he organized a very unique (and grueling) book tour that took him to every USA state and every Canadian province. When he got to my province, and spoke at the Chapters/Indigo store at the Manulife Centre in downtown Toronto, I went to hear him and interviewed him afterwards. This was stop number 58 on his tour, and he must have been exhausted — though you wouldn’t know it from his funny, upbeat and inspiring presentation.

The unconventional book tour map: coloured in by audience members

Do what you want and do good, too

Chris is interested in the “convergence of highly personal goals and being of service to others” and he’s on a mission. He’s been to almost every country in the world (and he’s under 35), he’s published half-a-dozen or so Unconventional Guides and a book, and he’s amassed a huge Internet following.

Chris Guillebeau of The Art of Non-Conformity

Here is the essence of his philosophy, from his website:

You don’t have to live your life the way other people expect you to.
You can do good things for yourself and help other people at the same time.
If you don’t decide for yourself what you want to get out of life, someone else will probably end up deciding for you.
There is usually more than one way to accomplish something.

At the bookstore in Toronto, he stood up, rolled up his sleeves and spoke to a standing-room only crowd. I liked that he rolled up his sleeves, because that seems to be the way he approaches life. Chris is lean, intense and likeable. He speaks with passion and authenticity because he lives what he speaks.

A happiness first lifestyle

He talked about the importance of deciding for yourself what success looks like and using your feelings to guide you as you make decisions in life. He said that he tries to inspire action, to encourage readers to create positive change in their lives. The central question of his book is, how do you live a remarkable life in a conventional world. He speaks to the dissatisfied, for people who are looking for something different.

Chris offered the rapt audience several suggestions:

See change as positive and start by making small changes.
Consider that efficiency is over-rated; an alternative is to pursue meaningful adventure.
Recognize that we are privileged to be able to talk about having a meaningful life; and ask yourself how you can contribute to the world and make it a better place.
Ask yourself the two most important questions in the universe:

1. What do you want to get out of life?

2. What can you offer the world that no one else can?

Chris Guillebeau of The Art of Non-Conformity

Chris told the story of living in Sierre Leone and volunteering for four years, and pointed out how much he got from the experience, how much his life changed. He calls it selfish generosity. He encouraged people to ask good questions, embrace life as a meaningful adventure and think about your place in the world, your contribution. “What kind of legacy are we building?” he asked. Legacy is a question of influence and relationships. What will the ultimate impact of our lives be?

In spite of all his accomplishments, Chris also was careful to reassure people that his strategy has been a work-in-progress. “I began with the classic blogging strategy of making shit up.” Before taking questions from the audience, he addressed the most common concern he hears: “I want to do [blank] but I’m worried I’m too late.” His advice was to offer a quote: The best time to start was probably last year, but failing that, today will do.

After the question and answer period, I accompanied Chris and several of his Toronto-based friends to a pub in Yorkville, where I asked him several questions over a pint (Chris) and tea (me).

My top four questions, answered

Q. If you know anything about Chris, you will know he’s a very productive dynamo. My first question to him was: How do you do all the things you do?

Book launch cupcake

A. Most of the things I do, I really enjoy. That’s the key. If you can structure your life around things you really enjoy and derive energy from, it gets much easier. Almost everything I do, I find meaningful and purposeful. I get tired, but feel very fortunate and grateful. Along with this, comes a sense of responsibility. Even when I have downtime, I work, but that’s okay.

Q. What’s the underlying message; what’s motivating you?

A. The fundamental underlying message is that you don’t have to live life the way others want you to, or to expect you too. You can just ignore them. It’s okay to pursue a big dream, a passion, but you should also connect that passion to other people and find out what’s your place in the world. The goal is to help people live unconventional, remarkable lives. That’s a really strong motivation. When I meet people, and hear stories, it’s very motivating.

Chris relaxing with a pint after the book launch

Q. How do you, or can you, inspire people? Or is this something you have any control over?

A. I have learned that you don’t have influence over how people respond. People will relate to you for various reasons; they derive inspiration where they will. If you want to be an inspiration, the tone you use is important, as well the words, the attitude and the overall message. Be clear about your motivation and your intentions, figure it out, and then do something really great for yourself and the world.

Q. What has surprised you about your journey with AONC?

A. I was afraid I would get bored and move on. I’ve been surprised that I’m not bored at all, and that I’m extremely satisfied, and I’m more excited about what’s to come — and a lot of it is because of all the people who’ve joined the project and contributed their vision.

Thanks Chris, for inspiring me, and many thousands of other people, too. (and thanks to Janice Waugh of Solotraveler for telling me about Chris in the first place, back in August 2009.)

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Why I’m speaking at Meet, Plan, Go

Mariellen — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 14:45:56 +0000

Udaipur, Rajasthan, India

The power to make dreams come true

When I was 44 years old, I finally started pursuing my dreams. I had recently lost both my parents (mother to heart disease, father to cancer) and was floundering in a colourless depression. I threw myself into yoga as a way to recover, and the first dream I pursued was to become a yoga teacher — though I was the oldest and least flexible person in the training group. My second dream was to travel to India — to go on a real voyage of discovery, lasting six months, and with no real itinerary or expectations.

I had never really pursued my dreams before. I honestly didn’t know you could. It took years of therapy and yoga training and then a series of devastating losses (including the deaths of my parents) for me to finally wake up and realize: This is not a dress rehearsal. This is life. And life is meant to be lived, not feared.

So, deciding to go to India, and then going, completely changed my life. It started before I even left. The big change happened when I realized that anything in life is possible, including living your dreams; and that achieving them is based on making a decision and setting an intention. The power is not OUT THERE; it is within each of us.

Mysore Palace

Rediscovering a technicolour world

When I was a child, I use to practise sliding my neck from side-to-side, with my arms above my head, palms together, like an Indian dancer. I used to paint huge murals of maharajah palaces on my walls. I devoured books about mythology, especially the Arabian nights and anything from the East. I went out on Hallowe’en dressed as an Oriental princess, in flowing harem pants and a sequined top. I became a vegetarian in my teens, long before it was trendy. When I look back, I was drawn to the “mysterious East” basically from birth, and always wanted to go to India.

Dancer in Delhi

Somehow, though, I never thought it was possible. I never thought I could actually get on a plane and GO TO INDIA.

But then I did. And my life changed. And that’s why I’m speaking at Meet, Plan, Go. I want to tell people that you CAN live your dreams. It is possible to unearth them, dust them off, and manifest them.

The other reason I’m speaking at Meet, Plan, Go is because I think travel is a particularly good way to get to know yourself and the world better. On my first trip to India in 2005/6, I very quickly developed an uncanny affinity for the country, the people and the culture and was very lucky to have the opportunity to stay with an Indian family in Delhi. I made their home my base for the six months I was traveling from one end of the country to the other.

I loved being a solo traveler, and I immersed myself in the culture. I experienced the difference between being a tourist and a traveler, and being alone helped: I had to engage with my surroundings for all social contact. I spent far more time with locals than with other foreign tourists; bought an entire Indian wardrobe; and really tried to understand the culture. I practised what I call “respectful travel” — in other words, when in Rajasthan, do as the Rajasthanis do.

I studied yoga for a month in Chennai; I volunteered to work with Tibetan refugee children in Dharamsala; I spent two weeks undergoing treatment at a beach side Ayurvedic resort in Kerala; I celebrated holidays and pujas with the family in Delhi; and found my spiritual home, right at the end of the trip, at an ashram in north India, near Rishikesh.

Jaisalmer, Rajasthan

Finding inspiration and perspective

I had gone to India at the tail end of a lengthy depression and my engagement with the culture, and the way it stimulated my imagination, especially my writing, completely revived me. I was never lonely, I never felt unsafe. I grew as a person, as a world citizen, as a yoga student and as a writer.

I started blogging, and the confidence I got from it gave me the boost I needed to seriously pursue a travel writing career, to launch Breathedreamgo and to publish my first book, Song of India: Tales of Travel and Transformation.

Thar Desert

The challenges of travel in India — which are considerable — taught me to let go, to surrender the illusion of control. I learned to have trust, and my faith in both myself and the universe sky-rocketed. One day, after being in India for about five months, I was walking in Connaught Place, the commercial centre of Delhi, and realized I felt completely comfortable. I noticed the touts who prey on tourists were ignoring me. They took me for a local. I had attained my “India legs,” and felt it was one of the great accomplishments of my life.

I have learned so much from my travels. I have learned to see better — to see myself, the world, and my place in it, a lot more clearly — and I gained a perspective that I would never have developed if I’d stayed in my middle-class Canadian “bubble.” I have leanred to be grateful, less judgmental, and more humble. Perhaps most of all, I’ve learned that we each have a lot of power: we have the power to choose our response to life, and our experience of life. In other words, it’s up to each of us to decide if the glass is half full or half empty.

Since that first trip, I’ve been back to India four times, and I’ve spent now more than 14 months altogether traveling across the country and living in Delhi. To hear the rest of the story, and how I achieved my travel dreams — and crossed the cultural divide — come to the Meet, Plan, Go event in Toronto on October 18, 2011!

Meet, Plan, Go

Meet, Plan, Go is the leading career break movement in North America; encouraging and teaching others how to travel the world and have it be beneficial to your career. Each year, they hold events on the same day in numerous cities across North America; this year it is October 18, 2011. I will be speaking at the Toronto, Canada event. For more information and tickets, please visit the Meet, Plan, Go website.

Mariellen Ward in Karnal, Haryana, India in 2006

If you enjoyed this post, you can….

Get updates and read additional stories on the Breathedreamgo Facebook page.

Buy Song of India, a collection of 10 feature stories about my travels in India.

Subscribe to the free — and inspiring! — e-newsletter, Travel That Changes You.

Thank you for reading. Please visit BreatheDreamGo or stop by my Facebook page at Breathedreamgo.

Donate and win hotel stay, dinner, tickets, books and more

Mariellen — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 23:47:49 +0000

Fires on the Ganges by Andrew Adams of Katha Images

Donate $10 to help street kids in Delhi

By October 26, 2011 I am hoping to raise $2,000 for the fundraising project for Deepalaya through The Intrepid Foundation. For every $10 you donate, I will enter your name into a draw. So, for example, if you donate $50, you get five ballots. I will put all ballots in a hat and draw randomly. But the more ballots you have in the hat, the more chances you have to win!

To read more about this fundraising project, please read my post Help the street kids of Delhi — and send me to India. And see below for more information about Intrepid Travel and Deepalaya.

Here’s where you can donate online. And here are the prizes, below — there are 17 prizes so you have a great chance of winning!

The Prizes

Fairmont Royal York Hotel lobby

Grand Prize

One night stay in a Gold Room at the historic Fairmont Royal York Hotel in Toronto and dinner for two at Benihana Japanese Steakhouse. The Gold Rooms are on the sumptuous 19th floor of the iconic hotel — this is where all the celebrities and movie stars stay. From the moment you step off the elevator, you enter a world of elegant wood paneling, deeply cushioned loveseats, rich fabrics and first class service and amenities. You will have a fabulous evening, ensconced in luxury, and a delicious dinner at the renowned Benihana. Generously donated by Fairmont Royal York Hotel. Value: approximately $450.00

Second Prize

A framed print by photographer Andrew Adams of Katha Images. The print, entitled Fire on the Ganges (see above), was shot on the River Ganges in Varanasi, on Andrew’s first trip to India, 2007. Andrew is an extraordinary photographer who has a gift for capturing the beauty of India. The finished size of the print is 20 x 24 and it will be signed and matted. Generously donated by Andrew Adams. Value: $250.00

BHARATI: The wonder that is India

Third Prize

Two tickets to see the spectacular musical BHARATI: The wonder that is India at the SONY Centre in Toronto. Your tickets are for the November 5, 2011 grand closing night performance. Tickets generously donated by MyBindi.

Being Human T-shirt

FourthPrize

A Salman Khan Being Human T-shirt. Being Human is a registered charitable trust set up by Bollywood star Salman Khan for helping the cause of the underprivileged in two main areas: education and healthcare. His Being Human t-shirts are all the rage in Bollywood, where you see many stars sporting them. I’m giving away three t-shirts, generously donated by Salman Khan’s Being Human Now in Canada.

Fifth Prize

An autographed copy of the Weight of Silence : The Invisible Children of India by Shelley Seale. Shelley is a talented and passionate journalist who spent months volunteering with The Miracle Foundation orphanages in India. This book is her deeply felt portrait of the children she came to know and love. Generously donated by Shelley Seale.

Sixth Prize

I am giving away 10 copies of my book, Song of India: Tales of Travel and Transformation. (Depending on your location, you will get a hard copy or e-book version.)

Donate online here.

Intrepid Travel, Deepalaya and dreams

I dream of helping street kids in India get a chance at life. And that’s exactly what Deepalaya does. See video, below, to find out more about this worthwhile organization.

Every child deserves a chance

Deepalaya is a non-government development organization working on issues affecting the urban and rural poor, with a special focus on children. It is because “Every child deserves a chance” that the organization exists and works towards making that possible. For the past 32 years Deepalaya has been working in the urban slums of Delhi, and has also made inroads into rural development in the states of Haryana, Uttar Pradesh and Uttarakhand.

Interesting fact: Deepalaya is supported by The Robert Duvall Children’s Fund. In fact, the video above is from their website.

I also dream of traveling in India: The prize for raising the most funds is an Intrepid Travel trip to India.

Anyone who is familiar with Intrepid Travel knows that it is a travel and tour company with a difference. Intrepid is known for being committed to responsible tourism; to take people “off the beaten path” and give them an authentic cultural experience in countries all over the globe; and for supporting worthwhile causes though The Intrepid Foundation, which supports projects in many of the destinations they visit.

India is one of Intrepid’s most popular destinations — the company offers many tours to India to choose from. In India, the Intrepid Foundation supports Deepalaya. Watch the video to find out more.

Donate online here.

If you enjoyed this post, you can….

Get updates and read additional stories on the Breathedreamgo Facebook page.

Buy Song of India, a collection of 10 feature stories about my travels in India.

Subscribe to the free — and inspiring! — e-newsletter, Travel That Changes You.

Thank you for reading. Please visit BreatheDreamGo or stop by my Facebook page at Breathedreamgo.

Help the street kids of Delhi — and send me to India

Mariellen — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 15:11:45 +0000

A street corner in Delhi

Donate to Deepalaya / Intrepid Foundation

I have spent more than a year traveling in India, and months living in Delhi. I love India, and I love Delhi. In fact, I think Delhi is one of the most under-rated cities of the world. It has incredible richness of culture, layers of history in the form of monuments, gentle foggy mornings and iridescent pink sunsets, a jungle of greenery, great food, a treasure trove of shopping … and children, living on the streets. You see them at traffic lights, skinny bodies, huge eyes, wearing shabby clothing, sometimes no clothing at all. They turn somersaults, cling to their mothers, sell toys, flowers and magazines. They sleep under bridges, on the railway platforms or in blue-tarp juggis.

The street kids of Delhi always tug at my heart strings, and I sometimes find myself dreaming of finding ways to help them. I dream of giving them proper food, clothing, health care and shelter, and of educating them and giving them a fighting chance to rise above their status and at least earn a living making handicrafts, driving an autorickshaw, selling chai … and who knows what else. There are stories of former street kids who, after earning an education, had successful careers, made money, and seriously challenged the stereotypes.

What would it feel like to know that you helped a child beat the odds? You can help by donating to the fundraising project for Deepalaya through The Intrepid Foundation before October 26, 2011.

Boy selling flowers in Pushkar

You can make dreams come true

The other thing I dream about is traveling in India. You can help me achieve both dreams by donating to the fundraising project for Deepalaya through The Intrepid Foundation before October 26, 2011. Whoever raises the most money, wins Intrepid’s 15-day Classic Rajasthan trip to India, generously donated by Intrepid Travel. The winner will be announced at the Toronto Travel Massive meetup on October 29, 2011.

If you’ve enjoyed my blog, if you want to help out street kids, if you believe in dreams and dreamers …. whatever your reason, I will be eternally grateful to everyone who gives any amount to Deepalya through the The Intrepid Foundation. You can learn more about Deepalaya below, and donate directly to the Deepalaya project here, on my personal fundraising page.

Deepalaya means “light house”

Rajasthani girl

It is estimated that Delhi alone has over 100,000 street children. Deepalaya started in 1979 to help these children for whom the street is their place of work and home. The sad reality for most of these children is a life of hard labour and work in environments that no child should be exposed to, such as prostitution and drug trafficking.

Deepalaya social workers counsel these children and place them at the Home for Boys in Deepalaya Gram in a village called Gusbethi, 60 kilometres from Delhi. Deepalaya has educated more than 44,000 underprivileged children from the slums of Delhi and rural areas in Haryana. At present the Home for Boys has 52 children staying there. The school in Gusbethi imparts formal schooling to the boys and children from the surrounding villages of Tayru. The school has more than 250 children.

Deepalaya is also involved in a Vocational Centre which provides technical training for the boys and for girls from the surrounding villages of Mewat. They learn skills in tailoring, computer hardware and software, electronics, air conditioning and refrigeration. Construction of a girls’ hostel is nearing completion. The hostel will accommodate 60 girls.

Your support for Deepalaya will help to provide food and board, health care, meaningful education and vocational training, counselling and career guidance, understanding, friendship, warmth and solace for these children.

The Intrepid Foundation

All funds donated to the fundraising project for Deepalaya through The Intrepid Foundation will be matched by The Intrepid Foundation, which also covers all the administrative costs. That means, 200% of the money you donate goes straight to Deepalaya. It’s not only a win-win, it’s a give-give situation. Which has just got to feel good!

DONATE HERE.

If you enjoyed this post, you can….

Get updates and read additional stories on the Breathedreamgo Facebook page.

Buy Song of India, a collection of 10 feature stories about my travels in India.

Subscribe to the free — and inspiring! — e-newsletter, Travel That Changes You.

Thank you for reading. Please visit BreatheDreamGo or stop by my Facebook page at Breathedreamgo.