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Hotel alternative in India: The homestay option

Mariellen — Wed, 16 May 2012 13:41:23 +0000

Hotels are fine, but homestay is an ideal way to experience travel in India

Hotels are fun, and even cheap hotels have their charms. But sometimes, you have to dig deeper. Indian hospitality is justifiably famous — captured by the slogan, Atithi Devo Bhava, which means The Guest is God. To fully experience this philosophy in action, and to really get to know the culture when you travel in India, you have to stay with an Indian family. But what do you do if you don’t know anyone?

Well, you could try booking through a company like Mahindra Homestays. They are India’s most well-known homestay company. I asked Japa Ghosh, head of marketing at Mahindra Homestays, to fill us in about the homestay option for travellers to India. Here’s what you need to know to find, book and enjoy a homestay, including etiquette tips.

I have found from personal experience that staying with an Indian family while travelling in India was a very culturally rich experience. No longer was I “just a tourist;” I was a member of the family. I hope you give yourself this experience next time you are in India, especially after reading this and getting to know the ropes.

BDG: What is a homestay and how does it work? How is it different than staying in a hotel?

MH: When you stay in a homestay you are a guest in a private home. You will have your own room, normally with an ensuite bathroom, and with all the sort of luxuries you might expect to find in a boutique hotel.

Homestays are run by the homeowners themselves, who are keen to welcome guests into their private homes, to share experiences and relationships which is something hotels simply can’t provide. It takes the detachment away from tourism and gives you a unique and unforgettable experience of the intricacies of Indian life and culture.

Meals are home cooked and authentic, fresh tea and coffee are delivered to your room and guests are treated with the warmth and heartfelt hospitality that India is famed for.

BDG: How do you find a suitable homestay, and how do you know if it’s clean and safe?

MH: The standard and quality of homestays in India can vary dramatically. Anybody can set themselves up as a homestay host and there are no regulations relating to safety and standards.

It is important that if you want to find a high quality homestay that you do some research or book through a reputable agent who can offer some form of guarantee as to what you will be getting.

Mahindra Homestays have a strict selection criterion before taking on a homestay. We look for properties that are unique in some way, or are managed by hosts who will go the extra distance to ensure their guests have a good stay. All Mahindra Homestays are regularly inspected to ensure they comply with standards that include comfort, cleanliness, safety and originality.

Independent homestays should be thoroughly researched before you book, check review sites such as Trip Advisor for recent guest feedback and ask for recommendations on travel forums such as India Mike (but beware of being approached directly by touts).

BDG: How do you book a homestay, what are the usual policies?

MH: Your booking options will depend on your choice of homestay. Many private homestays do not have facilities for taking online bookings, but will accept reservations by phone or email.

Mahindra Homestays are able to take online bookings through our secure site for all our homestays, much in the same way that you would book a hotel. Alternatively, you can book direct with our call centre team, who can also assist you with any transportation requirements, such as train tickets or a car and driver.

BDG: What is the proper etiquette in a homestay: for example, do you tip the owners? Are you required to do any cleaning?

MH: It is important to remember you are a guest in somebody’s home and as such they may have a curfew or house rules, which you would be expected to comply with. These generally would not be too onerous, but relate to things such as keeping the noise down after a certain hour.

You are not required to do any cleaning or chores, although some guests enjoy volunteering in the plantations and working farms for a few hours so they can learn about daily life, such as how tea, coffee and spices are produced; or they might have a go at farming activities such as milking. There is no requirement to tip the owners.

BDG: Why is a homestay in India a good idea?

MH: A homestay offers access to unique activities and events, whether it be adventurous, cultural, historical, relaxation or culinary. Your hosts open up their home and daily life to you and you get a glimpse into the real India that you might otherwise miss staying in a hotel.

It is not unusual for guests to be invited to join the family to attend a small local festival or take a trip to the market to buy the ingredients for dinner.

Experiences such as behind the scenes visits to Bollywood film sets, kayaking or night-fishing in the backwaters, trekking with a conservationist for the elusive tiger or snow leopard or wildlife safaris as well as having dinner with a Maharaja, taking a cooking class, and more, can be arranged through your hosts local connections.

Homestays also encourage responsible tourism. Mahindra Homestays has initiated many programs that a large number of homestays have incorporated. Through their teachings and methods homestays and travellers can have positive and lasting impact on the environment while boosting the regional socio-economic conditions.

BDG: Any tips on the best way to take advantage of a homestay?

MH: To get the best out of your homestay experience make sure you take full advantage of your hosts’ local knowledge. They will be able to advise you on things to do and see in the local area and help you arrange any activities, ensuring you are charged a fair price.

Eating at your homestay offers the opportunity to try some delicious home cooked food and many of the hosts’ are well known for their cooking. Don’t forget to ask for the recipes of your favourite dishes, a souvenir you can share with your friends back home as you recreate the taste of India in your own kitchen.

BDG: Thanks so much! If you want to know more, read the Mahindra Homestays blog for tips, info and contests!

NOTE: All photos courtesy Mahindra Homestays.

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Movie Review: The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

Mariellen — Thu, 10 May 2012 19:18:42 +0000

Judi Dench in Jaipur, Rajasthan

Feel-good movie set in Rajasthan, India

“India hits you like a wave. If you resist, you will be knocked down. But if you dive into it, you will be all right.”

These are the words of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel narrator Evelyn Greenslade, played by the luminous Judi Dench. She is one of seven British retirees who travel to Jaipur, Rajasthan, India to live in a restored “luxury” hotel for the elderly. Predictably, their expectations are not met — the hotel is a shambles and its future in doubt — and just as predictably, the characters who take up the challenges thrown at them find a new, unexpected life.

“What do you like about this country? What do you see that I don’t see?” asks unhappy Jean Ainslie (Penelope Wilton), who recoils in India and retreats into seething negativity. (I’ve seen this reaction among people quite often in India, unfortunately; and I’m sure other experienced India travellers have too.)

“The light, the colours, the smiles. The way the people see life as a gift, a privilege — and not a right. All life is here,” answers retired high court judge Graham Dashwood, played by Tom Wilkinson.

I liked the movie, but not for the expected reasons. I expected to love the portrayal of India — I did not. And I expected to like the direction, by John Madden who directed Shakespeare in Love — I did not. I thought Dev Patel (Slumdog Millionaire) was clownish; and there are a number of cultural missteps that drove my movie buddy (who’s from Delhi) mad. He wanted me to especially mention the broken landline phone — “no one in India uses landline anymore” — and the scene where Dev Patel and his girlfriend kiss and hug in public. This is really not done in India, especially not in traditional Rajasthan.

Kishanghar, Rajasthan stood in for Udaipur in the film

What I liked least about the film was the sloppy script and direction. The script needs a re-write by a writer with more originality; and the pace of the film should be slowed down. It was rushed and contrived. Add another half hour, and flesh things out! The ending, especially, seemed slap-dash.

What I liked most about the movie was the effect India had on some of the characters; the superb acting; the way the topic of aging is explored; and, mostly, Judi Dench. I thought Jaipur would be the star of the movie, but it is not. Judi Dench is the star. Like the other veteran actors, she’s at the top of her game. Someone on Rotten Tomatoes said the talented British actors in this movie are giving a master class in doing just enough. They are all good, Wilkinson, Maggie Smith and Bill Nighy particularly stand out.

I saw myself in Judi Dench’s character — though I am not as old, of course. But I am old enough to no longer hang on to the great illusion of youth, that it will never end. The way she blossoms in India, quite soon after losing her husband of 40 years, is incredibly inspiring — especially to me, who wants to continue having adventures in India when I am her age. All the young starlets in Hollywood put together can’t hold a candle to Judi Dench: I think she is one of the most beautiful women in film.

Bravo to the filmmakers for making a film about aging. I would give a lot to see a sequel — picking up exactly where this film leaves off.

NOTE: To find out about the locations in the film (Jaipur, Udaipur and other places in Rajasthan), read On location in India with The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.

RATING: 3 marigolds (out of 5)

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The 1,001 tales of the Jaisalmer desert

Mariellen — Sun, 06 May 2012 15:55:18 +0000

Travelling to magical Jaisalmer in Rajasthan

At the western edge of India, in the middle of the world’s second-largest desert, the fairytale kingdom of Jaisalmer appears, as if by magic, like a golden mirage in a desolate landscape

Despite the chaos of unmarked coaches, the train left the sodden grey bedlam of New Delhi Railway Station on time. But it still took more than 21 hours to reach the far side of Rajasthan, India’s largest state. Stuck in a cramped compartment, with nothing to look at but flat desert terrain, I had plenty of time to think about the heavy heart I was dragging from Delhi; and wonder if the long journey to Jaisalmer would be worth the effort.

Traveling extensively on the subcontinent on two previous trips, I had fallen completely under India’s spell: both were like magic carpet rides. But now I was facing the end of a relationship with a man Delhi-born-and-bred and I was worried that my love affair with India might be over, too. An unaccountable longing for Jaisalmer impelled me to make the long journey.

moi in the desert

Finally, the train pulled into Jaisalmer station and I stepped onto the platform and into the light of a dazzling noonday sun. I was struck by the colours of this far-flung Rajasthani town – splashes of neon pink and orange fabric against a backdrop of pale red earth, golden sandstone and iridescent blue sky. I felt immediately refreshed by the sunlight and spaciousness.

The Fifu Guest House arranged for a jeep to drive me the short distance to their peaceful location on the edge of town, where Jaisalmer meets the desert. By the time I settled into the fourth-floor terrace restaurant, and beheld the ancient, mountain-top fort, with its 99 bastions, in the distance, Delhi and the arduous trek was already seeping out of me. And Jaisalmer’s magic was seeping in.

As a child, I was obsessed with the 1,001 tales of the Arabian Nights, and I painted huge, colourful murals on my walls – always something I considered Oriental and exotic like turret-topped palaces and stone fortress-like cityscapes. Imagine my surprise when I looked at Jaisalmer and saw my bedroom walls.

Haveli in Jaisalmer Fort

Sunset over the Golden City

Jaisalmer rises from the baked earth of the Thar Desert, the second-largest desert on earth, and culminates in an impossibly romantic fairytale fort surrounded by scores of intricately carved buildings. Made almost entirely from yellow sandstone, each evening Jaisalmer glows gold in the setting sun. In fact, it is called the Golden City.

Ganesh paintings adorn the entrances of many houses

I was attracted to Jaisalmer by its remote desert location and reputation for having a relaxed atmosphere that also manages to evoke the adventure and romance of the former kingdom’s fabled past. Although rich in art and architecture, Jaisalmer is a small town, with a population of only 78,000, and it really is in the middle of nowhere.

But it was not always so. Jaisalmer was an important stop on the caravan trade routes between Egypt, Afghanistan and India for more than 800 years. Jaisalmer’s rulers and traders became rich and hired the finest craftsmen to build sumptuous palaces, temples, cenotaphs and havelis (Rajasthani-style mansions).

After the disappearance of the overland trade routes in the early 20^th century, the town went into decline. Considered inaccessible only a few decades ago, tourism recently began to revive Jaisalmer’s fortunes. Now it’s the town’s chief commercial activity. However, while most visitors to India make it to Jaipur, one of the three stops on the “golden triangle tour” (the other two being Agra and Delhi), only the hardy venture as far as Jaisalmer. Which is part of its charm.

But it’s not only the setting that’s charming. When I arrived, tired and hungry, guest house owner Fifu Kewalia said, “Welcome to your home,” and he meant it. Fifu and his “brother” Jitu Bissa, restored me with their warm Jaisalmer-style hospitality. And then I wanted to explore.

My first wish was to walk the narrow lanes of the fort. I bartered for beaded wall hangings, puppets and silver jewelry, drank chai in outdoor cafes and fended off constant, though gentle, sales pitches. “Madam, just look in my store!”

In Jaisalmer Fort

Falling in love with the desert

One day, Jitu took me on a motorcycle ride through town, which spreads out in the shadow of the fort. Around every turn we encountered streets filled with museum-quality havelis and shops filled with local, hand-made crafts, textiles and jewelry. The women of Rajasthan look like a vision of Scheherazade – they wear the brightest colours and most elaborate jewelry in all of India and, so there are lots of gorgeous items to choose from.

In the desert

Then we rode out into the desert, to a tiny Hindu temple dedicated to the elephant-headed deity Ganesh. While there, I was suddenly and inexplicably overcome by a powerful feeling of tension-melting, life-altering bliss. In that moment, it was like my heart burst open, and seeing with my heart, I fell in love with the burnished beauty of the desert. I felt profound peace – and yet more alive than I had ever felt before.

I was still feeling the joy of that experience when I went on my first-ever overnight desert safari. About 10 guests, and our host Jitu, traveled by jeep to see Bada Bagh, the royal cenotaphs and a delicate Jain temple complex at Amar Sagar on our way to the Sam sand dunes outside of Jaisalmer.

We rode camels into the dunes, where a camp was set up. After a delicious meal of rice, dal, vegetables, chutney and rotis, cooked on an open fire, we rolled out our sleeping mats and I looked at the desert as the sun set and the dome of the sky turned indigo above us.

At first it looked like nothing. Then it looked like everything. The sand dunes rippled in a rhythmic dance. The night sky filled with more stars than I had ever seen before. The only sounds were the gurgling camels and the whispering silence of a warm breeze that brushed my skin and reminded me this wasn’t a mirage. Infinity stretched in every direction, including within.

I lay awake on the dunes the entire night, communing with the thrumming stars, feeling full of wonder and joy, and more attached to myth than time. Incredibly, I had found a place that matched my childhood imagination; a place with stone turrets, an ancient fort and tales of caravans traversing the desert. History, imagination and the profound present intersect in Jaisalmer, and the effect is stunning.

[NOTE: First published in Acura Style magazine, Summer 2009.]

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The Best Exotic photos of Rajasthan

Mariellen — Thu, 03 May 2012 13:18:20 +0000

Lake Palace Hotel shimmering on Lake Pichola in the centre of Udaipur, Rajasthan (2009)

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

New film set in Rajasthan, India

In honour of the opening of the new film The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel — which is set in Rajasthan and was filmed on location in Udaipur, Jaipur and several other glorious Rajasthani locations — here’s a photo essay of some of my fave pics of Rajasthan. I have probably taken 2,000 photos of ”the Land of Kings;” these are just a few. To read about the actual locations used in the filming, click here: On location in India with The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.

Palace Garden, Jaipur, Rajasthan (2010)

I’ve been to Rajasthan about four-five times, and I am always ready to go back. It is the India you’ve dreamt about: historical and colourful, full of fantastical palaces and storybook scenes of peacocks flying low over the desert, camel caravans and graceful women in neon-bright saris.

Roopangarh Fort, Rajasthan (2010)

Some of my favourite places in Rajasthan include Jaisalmer, Udapiur, Pushkar, Roopangarh, Jodhpur and of course the desert. The Thar Desert, also known as the Great Indian Desert, is one of the world’s largest. Most of Rajasthan — India’s largest, and most touristed state — is desert.

Just one of many painted rooms in Bundi Palace, Rajasthan

There is so much achingly evocative beauty in Rajasthan, including of course the art and architecture — and they very often go together. Havelis are intricately carved out of stone, walls and ceilings are covered in detailed paintings. The whole state is a living work of art!

This guest house is called Kipling Palace because he stayed here once, in Bundi, Rajasthan

And like all desert people, no doubt, Rajasthanis love water. There are many beautiful fountains and “monsoon gardens” in Rajasthan. This picturesque lake is just outside the small town of Bundi, a gothic-meets-Mughal treasure trove of art and architecture.

City Palace, Udaipur, Rajasthan

Udaipur must be one of the world’s most romantic cities. Palaces and havelis line Lake Pichola — whose serene surface belies the crocodile living within — and in the centre sits a confection, a former maharajah’s palace, now a luxury hotel. Lake Palace Hotel is one of the most photographed hotels in the world. Obviously (see top picture).

City Palace, Jaipur, Rajasthan

Jaipur is the capital of Rajasthan. Known as the Pink City because of the colour of the walls and buildings in the old city, it is a large, bustling and prosperous place, with lots to see and do, like the City Palace, Amber Fort, Jantar Mantar observatory and the bazaars and markets. But I prefer the smaller towns and rural Rajasthan.

Bada Bagh, Royal Cenotaphs outside of Jaisalmer, Rajasthan

Jaisalmer, on the far outskirts of Rajasthan, deep in the heart of the desert, is my favourite place in Rajasthan. Here is an 11th century fort, continuously inhabited, on a hill top in the centre of the small golden town; and here you can take a camel safari out onto the dunes and see the stars like you’ve never seen them.

Camel driver Lal Singh at a small resort among the sand dunes, Jaisalmer, Rajasthan

Amber Fort, which sits atop a hill overlooking Jaipur is filled with murals, frescoes, stained glass, painted walls — it’s dazzling. Below is one small window that caught my attention — a scene from the life of Krishna.

Krishna stained glass, Amber Fort, Jaipur, Rajasthan

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How to “do” a yoga ashram in India

Mariellen — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 13:38:11 +0000

Yoga Ashram India series on TravelWireAsia

I write a regular ‘column’ for the TravelWireAsia website about India, yoga and travel in Asia (my favourite continent for travel!). Recently, I published a three-part series on How to “do” a yoga ashram in India. Here’s a synopsis of each post — to read the full article click on the link provided.

Part 1: How to find an ashram in India

HAVE you considered going to an ashram in India? This is a 3-part series on where to go, what you need to know and what to expect.

Holy men have been congregating in ashrams in India to meditate and chant since the dawn of time. But they’ve only become popular as a traveller’s destination since The Beatles went to the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi’s ashram in Rishikesh in the late 1960s and yoga became a worldwide phenomenon.

The best way to find an ashram is to ask people you know, especially your yoga teacher. Some of the questions you should ask include: Does the ashram or school take foreign students; do they have a program for foreigners? Is instruction in English? Where, exactly, is the ashram or school; is it accessible and in a place that has access to trains, the Internet, etc. Click here to read the full article How to find an ashram.

Part 2: What to pack and how to get ready for your ashram adventure

Once you’ve decided to stay at an ashram in India, and you know where you’re going, it’s time to start getting ready. Find out everything you can about the ashram – including the amenities, daily routine, accommodations and what you need to bring. Talk to people who’ve been there to find out what it’s really like.

Ashrams are not hotels, they do not come equipped with mod cons and supplies. They tend to be very simple, and you have to bring almost everything you need with you – but remind yourself that you are not going to indulge in luxury. Bring what you need, but bring the bare minimum, such as: all the toiletries you need, including soap, shampoo and medications, a flashlight, a towel, a shawl or sweater (it can be chilly at night in winter and in the mountains), loose cotton clothes, preferably Indian-style (Lululemon spandex just doesn’t cut it), flipflops and/or sandals, etc. Click here to read the full article What to pack and how to get ready for your ashram adventure in India.

Yoga capital of the world: RIshikesh, India

Part 3: What to expect at an ashram and the daily routine

Preparations can only take you so far when you’re travelling or experiencing something new — you have to expect the unexpected. And this is doubly, triply true of travel in India! It’s also especially true of doing something that is off-the-radar for most people from the west, where spirituality, and even just the concept of looking within, is nowadays considered a radical notion.

Looking within is exactly what you do at an ashram, and if you’re new to it, you may not know where to start — or where to look. That’s what the daily routine is for. The daily routine grounds you in the life of the ashram and provides you with a map. The “destination” is your unique experience and epiphanies. When in doubt, follow the routine and have faith that something will happen! And if that something turns out to be a catharsis, the routine will support you as you go through it.

I always go through a few very uncomfortable days of unwinding when I first get to the ashram. I usually feel like I have the flu, but I know it’s the symptoms of a natural detoxification. Click here to read the full article What to expect at an ashram and the daily routine.

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7 Super Shots from India and Canada

Mariellen — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 01:45:25 +0000

Lake Pichola, Udaipur, Rajasthan, India

7 photos that make me laugh, think and dream

The hand prints of women about to commit sati; an off-duty Naga Sadhu; a dish inspired by the last dinner on the Titanic … just three of my 7 Super Shots. I’m highlighting seven photographs in a game of blog tag. Thanks to Kit Whelan of Seek New Travel for tagging me to participate in 7 Super Shots from HostelBookers. I have never met Kit, but I am convinced we are related as my grandmother’s maiden name was Whelan … and because I would WANT to be related to Kit!

So, without further ado here are my seven super shots. I hope you enjoy viewing them even just a seventh as much as I enjoyed taking them!

1. A photo that makes me dream

The photo above was taken from my hotel room across Lake Pichola, in Udaipur, Rajasthan, India — one of the dreamiest places I have ever been. It’s all Maharajah Palaces and winding bazaars and rooftop restaurants. I want to live there. Maybe I will ….

2. A photo that tells a story

On a different trip to Rajasthan (I’ve been about five times!), I had my friend take this photo of me touching the sati hand prints at the entrance to Mehrangarh Fort in Jodhpur. The wives of a Maharajah killed in battle made these hand prints on their way out of the fort to be immolated on his funeral pyre. This practise was called sati, and is illegal in India today. Thank goodness.

At Mehrangarh Fort, Jodhpur, Rajasthan, India

3. A photo that makes me laugh

In 2010 I went to the Kumbh Mela in Haridwar, India. It’s the largest spiritual gathering on earth and attracts millions of pilgrims, pandits, sadhus and others. I spent one afternoon hangin’ within the Naga Sadhus — India’s famous naked holy men — where I snapped this.

Naga Sadhu, Kumbh Mela, Haridwar, India 2010

4. A photo I am proud of

I snapped this at the beginning of my walk along the entire length of Marine Drive in Mumbai, where I ended up at dusk at Chowpatty Beach. I’m just surprised this is so awesome, that’s all I can say. I wish I could figure out how I took it, so I can take more like it.

Marine Drive, Mumbai, India

5. A photo that takes my breath away

Truly, I don’t have the photographic skill for this category. You have to SEE the world’s third-highest mountain, Kanchendzonga, looming over Darjeeling, India to believe it. And it doesn’t happen often that you get a clear day like this. I was very lucky, the day I went up Tiger Hill to see this mountain at sunrise … luckier still because it was my birthday.

6. A photo that makes me think

When I first traveled in India, in 2005-06, I had just started blogging. My readers wanted me to write a post about what India’s “really like.” So one day I walked from my hotel room in Chennai directly east until I got to the beach and snapped whatever I saw. I made a photo essay of the result, and this was one of the photos I took.

On the street in Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India

7. A photo that is mouth-watering

I hope you don’t get the idea from this photo that I don’t like Indian food! Nothing could be further from the truth. I just don’t take a lot of food shots and this one turned out well, so…. It’s very recent, from last weekend, in Halifax. I went there to cover the Titanic centenary events, and each night ate a Titanic-themed dinner. This is Oysters a la Russe from the 5 Fishermen restaurant. I don’t eat meat, but I do love seafood.

Oysters a la Russe, 5 Fishermen, Halifax, Canada

Now, it’s your turn

I am nominating the following 5 Travel Blogs to take part:

1. Uncornered Market

2. Legal Nomads

3. Man on the Lam

4. Wild Junket

5. White Indian Housewife

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Travel is an experience in perception

Mariellen — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 13:30:25 +0000

Travel to India is like going through the looking glass

When we travel, we learn as much about ourselves as our destinations

WHEN I TRAVEL, especially in India, I feel like Alice in Wonderland; I feel like I’ve fallen into the rabbit hole, or stepped through the looking glass. I lose my bearings and everything is challenged, including my sense of self in the world and my ideas about how life and people should be.

And the experience of being in the alternate universe of a foreign country has helped me become more aware of myself and of the role perception plays in shaping reality.

In India, I meet other foreigners who tell me they think Pahar Ganj in Delhi is “the real India,” and who say the only way to travel in India is by staying in 150-rupee-a-night hovels. I also meet Delhi-born Indians who tell me they think Pahar Ganj is a ghetto and wouldn’t go near it. They prefer Delhi’s five star hotels and the shopping malls of Gurgaon.

When I live with my partner’s Indian family in Delhi, I am accepted into the family and I live as an Indian. But when I travel, I am seen as a foreigner and as if I know nothing about the culture. What’s the truth?

The truth was a mirror in the hands of God. It fell, and broke into pieces. Everybody took a piece of it, and they looked at it and thought they had the truth. ~ Rumi

The truth is, we can only see the world through our own window. And the nature of our window depends on our culture, gender, age, background, experiences, beliefs, judgments, IQ, EQ, and everything else that goes into making us who we are.

Perception is the reason one person loves Thailand and another Rome. Perception is why traveling can be fun and exciting; though you are visiting a place that is “normal” to the people who live there, to you it is novel and highly stimulating.

Perception is the reason one person’s idea of an adventure is to get drunk on the beach with other travelers in Goa, whereas for someone else it would be living in a mud hut for a year in Africa and volunteering to work with AIDS orphans.

I have long been interested in perception and the nature of consciousness. I studied Gestalt Therapy for six years and practiced as a therapist for seven years. I’ve also studied and practiced yoga for close to 20 years. Both say the same things: truth is in your experience, your experience is coloured by your perception, and you are a co-creator in your perception and thus in your reality of life.

And they both recommend increasing your mindfulness — your consciousness — to become aware of yourself. Yoga says you are a drop in the ocean of consciousness. You can become aware of yourself as a single drop and as part of the ocean.

We do not see the world as it is. We see the world as we are. ~ Talmud

I always advise people to go to India with an open and trusting attitude. India is like the cave that Yoda sends Luke into. Luke asks, “What will I find there?” and Yoda answers, “Only what you bring in with you.”

I went to India knowing I would change, but not knowing how. Though I was lucky to have a very soft landing at the beginning of my six-month trip, I was still gob-smacked by the traffic, chaos, colour, and noise. On my first car drive in Delhi, I felt like I was on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.

Horns honking, cows in the road, bicycles piled high with unlikely goods careening between the cars, no one paying any attention to the lanes or the rules. It seemed like madness.

Five months later, when I strode confidently through Connaught Place in central Delhi and noticed that the touts didn’t bother me — they could see I wasn’t a newbie and therefore not a prime target — I was thrilled. I realized I had found my “India legs” and it felt like one of the biggest accomplishments of my life. I had discovered both inner strength and a much higher degree of tolerance and flexibility.

Since then I have traveled often to India, living with my Indian partner and his family, studying with my yoga teacher in Rishikesh, and trying to learn and understand what eastern spiritual leaders have been teaching since the dawn of recorded time: that truth is in your experience. You are not the center of the universe, but you are the center of your universe.

The wisdom of the ancient rishis (sages), who developed the art and science of yoga, gained their wisdom not with external instruments of measure, but by meditating. Deepak Chopra called them “Einsteins of consciousness.” They used the human mind as a portal to the universe.

The last of human freedoms is the ability to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances. ~ Viktor Frankl

It seems to me that it’s hard to see your own wallpaper. We all have preconceived ideas about the world; we carry around a set of assumptions, but we often don’t realize it until something comes along to shake us up. Like travel.

But even travelers and people who blog about travel spend what I think is an inordinate amount of time trying to get others to agree to their truth; or not realizing that their version of the truth is personal. For example, so many discussions are around trying to figure out what’s “right” or what’s “cool” or what’s “authentic,” whereas only the person who is experiencing it knows whether it’s right, cool, or authentic.

I’m not saying I do not fall into this trap — I do. It’s hard to be a conscious person. But I think it’s worth trying.

I know from my own experience that it can be humbling to find out you are not the center of the universe. But if you learn the lesson with a dose of humility, it can open up a new universe to you. It can open you up to realizing that there is only one thing you can change or control, and that’s your attitude. It is only one thing, but it is a very powerful thing.

[Note: Originally published by Brave New Traveler, January 2011]

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Second Travel+Escape roundup

Mariellen — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 01:32:20 +0000

Immersive Travel columns on Travel+Escape: Kerala, Costa Rica and Cuba

In December 2011, I started writing a bi-monthly “column” for the Travel+Escape website — which complements the new Canadian TV channel — about immersive travel. To find out more, read my first round up, What is immersive travel? Here’s a synopsis of my most recent columns.

Exhale at a tropical health spa on the coast of Kerala

I’m lying on a heavy, teak table with my eyes shut, smelling herbal-tinged oil as it heats on a nearby burner and listening to the unfamiliar murmurs of two young women speaking Malayalam. Together, they slap the warmed oil onto my skin and, in perfect rhythm, massage both sides of my body at once. And as their voices begin to sound like Indian Ocean waves lapping the beach, I slip away into a South Indian version of paradise; an oily, wood-scented, tropical state of bliss.

This four-handed massage, called Pizzichili, was prescribed for me by my Ayurvedic doctor at Shinshiva — an Ayurvedic resort on the coast of Kerala. If this is medicine, give me more! Ayurveda is the ancient, time-honoured Indian system of healthcare that seeks to bring the body into a state of balance, and therefore wellness, primarily through the use of diet, herbs and oil massage treatments; and Kerala is the world centre for Ayruveda. Ayurvedic clinics, hospitals and resorts, from the simple to the luxurious, line the coast of this gentle, tropical land, one of India’s two most southern states.

To read more, please visit Exhale at a tropical health spa on the coast of Kerala on the Travel+Escape website.

Deep in the Jungle in Costa Rica

It was the boat ride down a remote river, through thick jungle, past an eerie mangrove forest and over crashing, tumultuous waves into the ocean that did it. I felt I had left the world as I knew it behind.

Making it out of the river and into the Pacific Ocean, in a very small, open boat was like passing through a mythical test, and indeed I did think of Odysseus. If you capsized here, you would have to face three terrors: powerful waves that could smash you to pieces against craggy rocks; four-metre crocodiles in the river; or bull sharks in the ocean — for this area, where the fresh water of the river meets the saline of the ocean, is rich feeding ground for crocodiles on one side and sharks on the other.

And that was just the start of my adventure to Bahia Drake – Drake Bay — and the Osa Peninsula, a remote region of southern Costa Rica.

To read more, please visit Deep in the Jungle in Costa Rica on the Travel+Escape website.

Tom Cruise, lost in Havana … and the real Cuba

A long time ago, when I first started traveling, and Cuba was still a developing destination even to French Canadians, I went on a last-minute vacation with my two best girlfriends to a very basic resort on a pristine beach about one hour from Havana.

It was my first time out of North America. I didn’t really have any measure of comparison due to inexperience, but I could still tell we were on a very down-market vacation package.

This was the trip where I came face-to-face with the reality of economic disparity and with my own identity as a middle class Canadian.

To read more, please visit Tom Cruise, lost in Havana … and the real Cuba on the Travel+Escape website.

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I supported a documentary about Indian magicians in Delhi and got a magic ring!

Mariellen — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 03:17:20 +0000

Documentary made in India: Tomorrow we Disappear raised funds on Kickstarter

Last fall I was on the Kickstarter website — thinking about running a fundraising campaign of my own — and I came across an appeal from three young filmmakers in the USA, Jim Goldblum, Adam Weber and Josh Cogan, who wanted to raise $40,000 to return to India to finish filming and editing a documentary about a magicians colony in Delhi, India that was about to disappear. The film is called Tomorrow we Disappear and this link will take you to the Kickstarter description. The slum area the magicians live in is going to be razed to make room for new buildings — hence the title.

I was intrigued by the project to make a documentary in India and also by the rewards they offered. Rewards are a key ingredient of a successful Kickstarter fundraising campaign. They need to be fun, valuable and manageable. These guys had great rewards at almost every pledge level, but I chose to make the $10 pledge and get a magic ring in return.

I have followed their progress on their Facebook page and even saw a photo of them, back in New York, lugging boxes of rewards to the post office.

And today — the day after my birthday actually — when I am in the midst of a big life change and in need of some magic, frankly — I got my ring. And it’s turquoise, my favourite colour and the colour I requested! So, thank you to Jim, Adam and Josh for making this film and keeping to your word and sending me a ring. Here’s the trailer, below — watch it and you will see why I wanted to help fund this project.

P.S. They raised $61,000.

What would you do with a magic ring?

Let me know in the comments below!

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10 books about India that are better than Shantaram

Mariellen — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 13:44:12 +0000

Shantaram and Eat, Pray, Love are not the only books about India: Here are 10 of my favourites

There are two types of people in the world: those who think Shantaram is a great book; and those who think it is a spew of virulent air, driven by the criminal mind and maniacal ego of its Australian pseudo-writer. I guess you can tell which type of person I am. This post is 10 suggestions for books about India that are better than Shantaram.

I tried to read Shantaram when I was living in Delhi, but ended up literally throwing it across the room. I thought it was poorly written and more about the fevered imagination of its writer than about India. In fact, it offers very little insight into India, if you ask me; and the longer I spend in India getting to know it, the more true this statement becomes.

Since that time, however, I’ve read lots and lots of book about India, by Indians and foreigners, and almost all of them are much, much better. Except Eat, Pray, Love. If you actually want to know something about India — rather than about an ego-driven writer — I suggest the following 10 books, in no particular order.

(If you want to learn more about a book, below, hover your cursor over the image; and to buy it, simply click on the image and you will be whisked to the U.S. Amazon site.)

1. A Search in Secret India by Paul Brunton. A cult classic, this book was published in 1934 and it’s about the author’s sincere, strange and ultimately inspiring search for spiritual truth in India. After many false starts, dead-ends and kooky run-ins, he lands at the feet of Sri Ramana Maharishi. Which in itself a metaphor for the spiritual journey. This is the book that introduced Sri Ramana Maharishi to the west (and he still remains one of the greatest Indian saints of the 20th century).

2. Empire of the Soul by Paul William Roberts. This is the book I hope Shantaram readers graduate to read. It is about two lengthy trips journalist Roberts took to India, separated by many years; and about how he reconciles some of the extraordinary experiences he had there. Roberts is known for hard-boiled books about war-torn countries like Iraq, so when he writes about his spiritual awakening, it rings true.

3. Out of India by Ruth Prawer Jhabvala. The introduction to this book of short stories is alone worth the price of the book. It’s hands-down the best piece of writing I have ever read about what it is like to be a foreigner in India. Absolutely priceless. If you recognize her name, it’s because she was the screen-writer for the Merchant-Ivory film productions (including A Passage to India, see #6.)

4. India’s Unending Journey by Mark Tully. Mark Tully was the BBC’s chief correspondent in India for many years. He has the character to overcome his profession’s limitations and admit that the chief thing he learned in India was to be certain only about uncertainty. And he says it’s the most valuable thing he has ever learned.

5. India: A Million Mutinies Now by V.S. Naipul. What can I say? It’s the classic. Personally, I admire this book more than I like it.

6. Passage to India by E.M. Forster. Very recently, the Consul General of India in Toronto — a remarkably cultured woman — told me she thought Forster really captured India in this book. I told her I feel like Fielding. Mutual understanding was firmly established. It was the best book I studied at university, I still remember the discussion about the meaning of the Marabar Caves. The film is good too!

7. Maximum City by Suketu Mehta. This is one of the best books I have read recently. It has an ambitious scope and many small wonderful moments, and seemed Dickensian to me in its attempt to capture the spirit of the times in a big, broiling, magnificent city. This is Bombay (Mumbai): gangsters and hero cops, foot-path poets and down-to-earth movie stars. You will learn a lot more about what Bombay is really about in this book than in Shantaram.

8. Kim by Rudyard Kipling. This is my favourite book of all time. If you’ve never read it, throw out everything you think you know about Kipling, who was the most famous writer of his time. The book follows the story of teenage Kim, son of an Irish immigrant and ‘friend of all the world’, who travels the roads of India with his guru, an elderly Tibetan lama on a spiritual quest for a river of enlightenment. It is unique and uncanny in its ability to absolutely immerse you into the scene and the story. You can feel the oppressive heat of the plains and the crisp air of the mountains. You can imagine Kim’s excitement about rejoining his friend on the road after a stint locked-up at school. You can feel the old man’s pain as his quest seems to elude him, and the love he engenders in Kim, his disciple. And you will be carried away by the transcendent ending.

9. City of Djinns by William Dalrymple. I was torn, not sure which Dalrymple book to put on this list. They are all good, especially Nine Lives. He is a solid as a rock in terms of research, reporting and writing. But this is his first book about India and it’s about Delhi (Dilli), my home-away-from home in India — and in fact, his real home. He lives there now. He has an Indian soul. The book is both a personal narrative about living in India for a year and about the history of Delhi. (And if there’s one thing Delhi has, aside from crowds of people and traffic, it’s history.) It’s by turns informative and funny. I keep intending to find out if International Backside taxi stand really exists. P.S. Dalrymple is the found of the Jaipur Literature Festival.

10. Freedom at Midnight by Larry Collins and Dominique Lapierre. On the stroke of midnight, August 15, 1947, India became free. This is the classic book about the biggest event in modern Indian history: the freedom struggle, partition and birth of a nation. You cannot begin to know or understand modern India if you don’t have a grip on its struggle for independence and the larger-than-life players who made it happen, especially Gandhi, Nehru, Mountbatten and Jinnah. The film Gandhi, directed by Richard Attenborough, gives you a lot of the same information, but this book fills in all the holes.

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